Should the Husband Do All Household Chores? The True Sunnah
Should the Husband Do All the Household Chores?
There is a Hadith narrated by the Mother of the Believers, Aisha (May Allah be pleased with her), that the Messenger of Allah (Peace Be Upon Him) «كَانَ فِي مِهْنَةِ أَهْلِهِ» (used to remain engaged in the service of his family). [Sahih al-Bukhari, No. 6039]
From this, some people deduce that a husband should assist his wife in all household chores, to the extent of helping her with cooking, washing dishes, and sweeping the floor.
The response to this is:
This Hadith is concise (Mujmal), and in another Hadith, the Mother of the Believers, Aisha (May Allah be pleased with her) herself has provided a detailed explanation of this conciseness as follows:
”كَانَ يَخِيطُ ثَوْبَهُ، وَيَخْصِفُ نَعْلَهُ، قَالَتْ: وَكَانَ يَعْمَلُ مَا يَعْمَلُ الرِّجَالُ فِي بُيُوتِهِمْ“
“He (PBUH) used to sew his own clothes, mend his own shoes, and he (PBUH) used to do all those things that men typically do in their homes.” [Musnad Ahmad, No. 26239, and its chain of narration is authentic]
At the end of this Hadith, the Mother of the Believers, Aisha (May Allah be pleased with her), explicitly stated this fundamental principle: « وَكَانَ يَعْمَلُ مَا يَعْمَلُ الرِّجَالُ فِي بُيُوتِهِمْ», meaning that the Prophet (PBUH) used to do the chores meant for men in his house.
This Hadith clarifies that the Prophet (PBUH) only performed those household chores for his family which were traditionally men’s tasks.
To interpret this as implying that the Prophet (PBUH) also did women’s chores is a highly misleading deduction.
● Abu Zur’ah, Ibn al-Iraqi (d. 826 AH) states:
« أَمَّا خِدْمَةُ أَهْلِهِ فِي الْحَاجَاتِ الْمُخْتَصَّةِ بِهِنَّ فَهُوَ غَيْرُ مُرَادٍ فِي الْحَدِيثِ فِيمَا يَظْهَرُ وَلَا يُمْكِنُ لِأُمَّهَاتِ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ رضي الله عنهن السُّكُوتُ عَنْ ذَلِكَ وَالْمُوَافَقَةُ عَلَيْهِ »
“Serving the family in those needs which are specifically related to women is clearly not what is intended in the Hadith, nor was it possible for the Mothers of the Believers (May Allah be pleased with them) to remain silent on such a matter or consent to it.” [Tarih al-Tathrib fi Sharh al-Taqrib 8/181]
● Imam Ibn al-Qayyim (May Allah have mercy on him) (d. 751 AH) states:
«وأما ترفيه المرأة وخدمة الزوج وكنسه وطحنه وعجنه وغسيله وفرشه وقيامه بخدمة البيت فمن المنكر»
“As for comforting the wife and the husband serving her, sweeping the house, grinding flour, kneading dough, washing clothes, laying out the bed, and independently managing the household chores, it is an inappropriate (Munkar) action.” [Zad al-Ma’ad, Mu’assasat al-Risalah edition: 5/171]
Thus, it is clear that presenting the act of a husband doing all sorts of household chores as the Sunnah of the Messenger is incorrect.
(Kifayatullah Sanabli)
