Equality in Gifts to Children in Islam: Ruling New

Equality in Giving Gifts to Children in Islam: Is Preferring One Child Allowed?

Question: Is it necessary to observe equality among children when giving gifts? And is it permissible to give a son more than a daughter? Furthermore, can one give more to one of the children based on a specific reason or obedience? And if one brother spends from his own pocket on a joint house, can the parents give him extra wealth?

Answer..!

Praise be to Allah:

In inheritance, a son is given twice the share of a daughter, and inheritance takes effect after death. However, a father giving wealth to children during his lifetime is called a gift (Hibah). Scholars agree that it is prescribed to maintain justice and equality among children when giving gifts. Therefore, it is not permissible to give a gift specifically to one child and exclude the others, whether they are sons or daughters.

Nu’man bin Bashir (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates that his father brought him to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and said: “I have given this slave of mine to this son of mine.” The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) asked:

“Have you given the same to all your children?” He replied, “No.”

The Prophet (peace be upon him) then said: “Take that slave back from him.”

(Sahih Bukhari Hadith #2586) (Sahih Muslim Hadith #1623)

In another narration, the wording is:

Nu’man bin Bashir (may Allah be pleased with him) states: My father gave me some of his wealth as charity. My mother, ‘Amrah bint Rawahah, said, “I will not be satisfied until you make the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) a witness to this.” So my father went to the Prophet (peace be upon him) to make him a witness to my charity. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said to him:

“Have you done the same with all your children?” He replied in the negative. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Fear Allah and treat your children with justice.” My father returned and took back that charity.

(Sahih Bukhari Hadith #2587) (Sahih Muslim Hadith #1623)

And in a narration of Muslim, the wording is:

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “O Bashir, do you have any other children besides this one?” He replied, “Yes.” The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

“Have you given all of them a gift like this?” He said, “No.” The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Then do not make me a witness, for I do not bear witness to injustice.”

(Sahih Muslim Hadith #1623)

This Hadith indicates several points:

First: The Prophet (peace be upon him) commanded him to observe justice and equality, and a command implies obligation.

Second: The Prophet’s statement that preferring one child while excluding the others is injustice (Zulm) and unfairness. Additionally, the Prophet (peace be upon him) refused to bear witness and ordered the return of the gift, all of which indicates the prohibition of preference (Tafdeel).

Scholars have also argued using rational proofs regarding this, some of which are mentioned below:

Hafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on him) mentioned in his book Fath al-Bari:

Those who consider it obligatory argue that: This is among the preliminaries and beginnings of obligations, because severing ties of kinship and disobedience to parents are both forbidden acts. Whatever leads to a forbidden act is also forbidden, and preference (giving one child superiority over another) leads to this forbidden act.

See: (Fath al-Bari Sharh Sahih Bukhari Vol 5/ Pg 214)

This is also supported by the wording of the narration in Muslim:

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Make someone other than me a witness to this.” Then the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Would you like them all to be equal in righteousness and kindness towards you?” He said, “Why not?” The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Then do not do this.”

(Sahih Muslim Hadith #1623)

Among the proofs of its prohibition is also that: Considering one child better than another and preferring them creates malice, enmity, and hatred between them, and the same will arise between them and the father; therefore, it has been forbidden.

(See: Al-Mughni by Ibn Qudamah 5/664)

Some scholars have permitted giving more wealth to one son or daughter based on a benefit (Maslahah), need, or excuse, and have reasoned using the Hadith narrated by Imam Malik:

Imam Malik (may Allah have mercy on him) narrated in his book Muwatta Imam Malik from Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) that she said: Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) had given her twenty Awsaq of dates from the land of Ghabah as a gift. When he was on his deathbed, he said:

“My daughter, by Allah, there is no one among the people whose wealth I would love for you to have after me more than yours, and your poverty after me is most painful to me. If you had taken possession of those dates, they would have been yours, but today that wealth belongs to the heirs, who are your two brothers and two sisters. So, divide it according to the Book of Allah.”

Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) said: “O my father, by Allah, even if it were such and such amount, I would have left it. One sister is Asma, but who is the other?” Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “She is in the womb of Bint Kharijah, and I think it is a girl.”

(Muwatta Imam Malik)

(Hafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on him) says in his renowned book Fath al-Bari: Its chain of narration is Sahih. See Fath al-Bari 5/215).

Ibn Qudamah (may Allah have mercy on him) says:

There is a possibility that Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) gave Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) a special gift due to her need, as she was unable to earn. Also, because Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) had a special status and virtue as she was the Mother of the Believers, and besides that, she possessed many other virtues.

See: (Al-Mughni by Ibn Qudamah al-Maqdisi Vol 5/ Pg 665)

A response has been given regarding this, which Hafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on him) also mentioned in Fath al-Bari. He says:

Regarding the story of Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her), ‘Urwah stated that Aisha’s siblings were pleased with this gift.

Fath al-Bari (5/215)

See: Kitab Al-Adl Bayn Al-Awlad page number (22) and subsequent pages; this excerpt has been quoted with some additions and deletions.

Ibn Qudamah (may Allah have mercy on him) says:

“A person should observe equality among all when giving gifts and presents to his children and should not prefer anyone over the other siblings. Thus, if a person gives gifts to some of his children but not to others, or does not observe equality while giving to all, he will be sinful for this. Furthermore, to establish equality among all children, he must do one of two things: either take back what he gave to the one child, or give the same amount to the others.

Tawus (may Allah have mercy on him) says:

‘It is not permissible not to observe equality when giving gifts to children, even if it is an extra piece of burnt bread.’

This is the position narrated from Ibn Mubarak, and a similar position is reported from Mujahid and ‘Urwah.” End quote.

“Al-Mughni” (5/ 387)

Sheikh Ibn Baz (may Allah have mercy on him) also declared preferring one child over another as absolutely forbidden, stating:

Preferring one child over another is forbidden, and observing justice and equality among them is obligatory, whether they are girls or boys. They should receive according to their inheritance shares. However, if they are adults of sound mind and give permission for this, then it is fine.

See: Al-Fatawa Al-Jami’ah lil-Mar’ah Al-Muslimah (3 / 115 – 116).

Sheikh Ibn Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) says:

It is not permissible for a person to continue preferring one of his sons over the others, because of the Prophet’s (peace be upon him) statement:

“Fear Allah and observe justice among your children.”

Therefore, if someone gives one of his sons one hundred dirhams, it is obligatory and necessary for him to give the other sons one hundred dirhams as well, or take back the one hundred dirhams from the son he gave it to. What we have mentioned here refers to things other than obligatory maintenance (Nafaqah). However, regarding obligatory maintenance, each child will be given as much as they deserve/need.

Suppose a son needs to get married; the father should arrange his marriage and pay his Mahr (dowry). Since the son does not have the power to pay the Mahr, in this case, it does not necessitate that he pays the other sons the same amount as the son who is getting married, because getting married is included in maintenance (Nafaqah).

I want to issue a warning about an issue here that some people commit due to ignorance: It happens that a person has children; some are adults and have reached marriageable age, so he marries them off. Some children are still young, so he makes a bequest (Wasiyyah) for these young children that after his death, they should also be paid the same amount of wealth as was spent on the marriage of the elder ones.

Doing so is Haram (forbidden) and impermissible because this bequest would be for an heir, and making a bequest for an heir is forbidden.

Because the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

“Verily Allah has given every one who has a right his due; therefore, there is no bequest for an heir.”

These are the words of Abu Dawood. See:

Abu Dawood Hadith #3565

Sunan Tirmidhi (2/16)

Others have also narrated it. Allama Albani (may Allah have mercy on him) declared the chain with these words as Hasan, and the narration with the words (La Wasiyyata Li Warith) as Sahih. See Irwa al-Ghalil by Al-Albani (6/87).

Therefore, if he says, “I have bequeathed this wealth for them because I married off their brothers with this amount of wealth,” we will say to him: If these young children also become adults and reach marriageable age before your death, then marry them off with that amount of wealth. But if they do not reach marriageable age, then it is not obligatory upon you to marry them off.

See: Fatawa Islamiyah (3/30)

Saudi Mufti Sheikh Salih Al-Munajjid was asked:

Is it permissible to pay off the debt of a needy son while other children are present?

I know that it is obligatory to be just between children, but one of my sons has a very large debt and cannot pay it due to being poor. Is it permissible for me to pay part of his debt from my wealth?

The Sheikh’s Answer!!

Praise be to Allah.

Justice among children is obligatory, and similarly, observing equality among children in Hibah (gifts) is obligatory. Singling out any one of them or giving them preference is Haram (forbidden). However, if there is a reason for it, then it is permissible.

So, if there is something that necessitates specific treatment or preference, there is no harm in it. For example, if one of the children is sick, blind, disabled, has a large family, or is a student of knowledge, etc., then there is no harm in giving them preference based on these objectives.

Imam Ahmad (may Allah have mercy on him) pointed to this, saying:

(Regarding the specification of an endowment for one of the children) The Imam said: “If there is a need, there is no harm in it. But if this is done solely on a preferential basis, then in my view, it is disliked.”

And Sheikh-ul-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

(The Hadith and Athar indicate the obligation of justice among children… Then here there are two types:

1 – One type is those who are in need of expenses due to their illness or health, etc. Justice in this case is that each one is given according to his need, and no distinction is made between the one with less need and the one with more need (i.e., meet the need of each).

2 – The second type is where their needs are shared/common, i.e., in gifts, spending, or shared marriage expenses. In this category, there is no doubt about the prohibition of increasing or decreasing (shares).

And between these two, a third type arises:

That is, one of them has a need that does not occur habitually, for example, the payment of a debt on behalf of one of them which became obligatory upon him due to a crime (i.e., paying a financial penalty for causing physical harm), or his Mahr is paid, or maintenance for his wife is given. There is a view regarding giving this to another as an obligation.) End quote from Ikhtiyarat.

(See Book: Tayseer al-Allam Sharh Umdat al-Ahkam pg. 767)

Similarly, another question was asked to Sheikh Salih Al-Munajjid (may Allah have mercy on him):

Question: I want to ask about a person who helped his father in the marriages of his four sisters so that the father would not have to sell things from his property. Can the father transfer some of his property to his name? Or is it necessary for the sisters to be pleased with this? Or can he transfer it to his name without the sisters’ consent?

And if the sisters are not pleased with anything being transferred to their brother’s name, and the father still transfers it to him, will there be any sin on the father in this case?

And if the father dies before writing anything in his son’s name, will the father’s estate be considered the estate of all heirs? Or will the son take the expenses he spent on his sisters, and the rest be distributed among all heirs like regular inheritance?

Sheikh Salih Al-Munajjid (may Allah have mercy on him) writes the relevant answers regarding this:

Whatever the brother did for his sisters’ marriage was certainly an act of virtue and obedience, and he will surely be rewarded for it.

There are two possibilities regarding this brother’s action:

First:

The brother did all this as cooperation with his father and assistance for his sisters’ marriage, or out of Silah Rahmi (maintaining kinship ties) with his sisters. In this situation, the son cannot demand anything from his father or sisters, demanding repayment for what he did for the marriage, whether this demand is directly from the father or from his estate after his death. This is because the brother lent a hand in the marriage preparations to his father so that it would be a virtue and favor, not a loan or debt, nor did he do it to receive compensation later.

Thus, in Sahih Bukhari (2589) and Muslim (1622), Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them) says that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: (The one who takes back his gift is like a dog that vomits and then licks it up).

Nor can the father give him anything in exchange for this virtue, because the son did this act as a favor (Ihsan), and in the case of doing a favor, there is no need to prefer him over other siblings.

Furthermore, the scholars of the Permanent Committee for Fatwa (16/207) were asked:

“I fear Allah, and I know that death is a reality from which no one can escape. My question is that my mother owns a small house, which I have rebuilt. I have a brother who did not participate with me at all in this construction, and he upsets my parents a lot and treats them very badly to this day. He is currently living outside the home, due to which my mother is very angry, and she has decided to register this house in my name. I have spoken to my mother about this several times, but she is firm in her intention to register this house in my name. Therefore, I now want to know from you: if my mother writes this house in my name and deprives my brother of it, will she be sinful? And if I accept this house, is there any sin on me?”

They replied:

“If the reality is as mentioned, then it is not permissible for your mother to deprive your brother and give you this house, because of the Prophet’s (peace be upon him) saying:

(Fear Allah and observe justice among your children); and many other Hadiths have been narrated in this regard.

If she does as she says, she will be sinful, and you will also be sinful, because by accepting this house, you have become an equal partner with her in injustice and sin. Allah Almighty has forbidden such things in His saying:

( وَتَعَاوَنُوا عَلَى الْبِرِّ وَالتَّقْوَى وَلَا تَعَاوَنُوا عَلَى الْإِثْمِ وَالْعُدْوَانِ )

Translation: Cooperate with one another in righteousness and piety, and do not cooperate in sin and aggression. [Surah Ma’idah: 2]

It is obligatory that this gift be returned, or an equivalent gift be given to the other son. If you see that your mother is insistent on her intention not to include your brother with you in this house, then there is no prohibition on you accepting this gift, but it is obligatory upon you to give half of its share to your brother so that you may absolve yourself of responsibility. This ruling applies in the case where your mother has no other children besides you two.”

(Permanent Committee for Scholarly Research and Ifta

Member: Abdullah bin Qu’ud

Deputy President: Abdur Razzaq Afifi

President: Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah bin Baz)

Second:

This brother spent on the sisters with the intention that he would take it back from the father. In this case, the father can give him from his wealth, or make a bequest for him for the amount he spent on the marriage expenses. In this case, it is not necessary to give to the other brothers, even if the other siblings are not pleased, because in this scenario, this money will not be a gift or Hibah, but rather, in a way, it will be included in the repayment of a debt.

The scholars of the Permanent Committee for Fatwa (16/205) were asked:

“My father is approximately 75 years old and is still alive. He has an old house made of mud in a good area. I demolished this house and rebuilt it with concrete using my own money, and I have rented out this house. I use the rent money to pay those who ask me for debt repayment. I did not take any loan from the Real Estate Development Fund for the construction of this house. Now my father wishes to sign over this house to one of my children, who is at least seven years old. It is worth mentioning here that my father’s children include one son and five daughters; one daughter is older than me, and the rest are younger. And I have been supporting my father and mother for approximately 15 years.”

They replied:

“After contemplating the question you mentioned, it becomes clear that the son for whom your father wants to give up this house is not currently in need of this house. You also mentioned that you promised your father that if he gave this house to your son, you would build a separate house for your brothers with your own money in exchange. And that your five sisters are married, and that you have already built for your father with your own money the house he now wants to give to your son. All these things indicate that your father’s purpose is only to give this house to you, not to your other sisters, and he used your son’s name as a ruse in giving the gift to avoid being called unjust. Therefore, it will not be permissible for your father to give this house to your son, because of the Prophet’s (peace be upon him) saying: (Fear Allah and observe justice among your children).

As for what you mentioned that you bear the expenses of your father’s house, [regarding this we want to say to you that] if you had the intention of charity (Sadaqah) in your heart at the time of spending this money, then Allah will reward you for it; you do not have the right to take this amount back from your father.

And if you spent it with the intention of taking it back, then you can take this amount from your father. But it is better for you not to hold your father accountable for this money, nor consider the amount spent on him as too much. Your reward is with Allah, and if your intention was correct, you may receive even more reward than you hope for.”

(Permanent Committee for Scholarly Research and Ifta

Member: Abdullah bin Qu’ud

Deputy President: Abdur Razzaq Afifi

President: Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah bin Baz)

The summary of all this is that it is necessary for parents to observe equality when giving gifts, etc., or wealth to children during their lifetime, whether they are sons or daughters, and whether one is obedient or disobedient; everyone should be given wealth/gifts equally.

However, for obligatory maintenance (Nafaqah), i.e., if one is studying in college and another in school, or one son is sick, or it is someone’s wedding, equality is not applicable when spending on all of these; here money will be spent on each according to their need.

Similarly, if one of the children is disabled, weak, or in debt due to an accident, they can be given slightly more wealth/gift than the others, but even in this case, it is better to obtain the consent of the other children first.

And finally, regarding the point that if a son spent money from his separate earnings on his sisters’ marriage or a joint house: In this case, his intention will be looked at. If he gave this money to the parents as a loan intending to take it from the joint share later, he can take this wealth back. But if he spent on the joint household matters with the intention of virtue and favor (Ihsan), then he cannot take his wealth back now; rather, he will also be given an equal share in wealth or gifts like the other children.

(And Allah knows best what is correct)

Reference: https://alfurqan.info/problems/745