How to Handle Anxiety and Repentance for Past Misconduct in a Relationship

Dealing with Anxiety Over Past Misconduct and Seeking Repentance in Islam

Question: A girl had a friendship with a boy six or seven years ago, and this friendship was limited to phone conversations, mainly about studies. There was no meeting or anything beyond that. Later, the boy got married, and the girl broke off contact with him, telling him that he now belonged to someone else. The boy began threatening his wife, saying he would marry this girl, even though the girl had repented and stopped speaking to non-mahram men and had no feelings for this boy. Now, the girl faces obstacles regarding her job and marriage, and she remains anxious, thinking the boy’s wife may have cursed her, although she has become pious and has no feelings for the boy. In such a situation, what should the girl do? Should she seek forgiveness from the boy’s wife, even though she doesn’t know her and has no way of contacting her, but feels that she might have hurt the wife or caused her pain?

Answer: There is no doubt that the girl maintained a relationship with the boy and engaged in conversations, and regardless of the nature of these conversations, this relationship and communication are considered immodest and sinful in the sight of Allah. Since the girl is now deeply troubled by this matter, it indicates that she had an inappropriate relationship with a non-mahram, which is haram in Islam. The girl should sincerely repent to Allah, and there is no question of her needing to seek forgiveness from the boy’s wife. Therefore, she does not need to be excessively worried about her mistake. This girl has wronged Allah, not the boy’s wife, so she should seek forgiveness from Allah. When a person sincerely repents, Allah forgives their sins.

As for the issue of facing difficulties in job or marriage, she should make dua to Allah and continue to make lawful efforts to resolve her issues. This is not a problem unique to her; it happens to many people. Additionally, it is worth advising here that a woman does not need to be overly concerned about finding a job, as Islam places the responsibility of providing for a woman on the men in her life, such as her father or husband. While it is permissible for a woman to work within the bounds of Shariah, she should not be anxious about it.

Response by: Sheikh Maqbool Ahmad Salafi (Hafizahullaah)

Jeddah Dawah Center, Hai Al-Salamah – Saudi Arabia

Interpreter: Hasan Fuzail