Rights, Duties, and the Family System: A Realistic Islamic Review
Rights, Duties, and the Family System: A Realistic Review
An unholy attempt to cloak feminism in an Islamic guise is that some so-called scholars, under the pretext of women’s rights, are declaring them completely absolved of household duties. They leave the husband’s elderly parents to suffer alone by arguing that serving the parents-in-law is not obligatory on a wife in Islam. If the excesses and bitterness of the Joint Family System have made living in society miserable, the Separate Family System—completely unbridled from duties and responsibilities—has wreaked no less havoc. Islam is a religion of justice; it teaches giving everyone their due rights. What kind of a wife is she who becomes restless at every sigh of her own elderly parents but remains completely unconcerned with the sufferings of her husband’s parents?
TV dramas and serials have brainwashed our women to such an extent that, in their eyes, the ideal husband is the one who rebels against the whole world for his wife’s sake, breaks ties with his sisters, and disrespects his parents. To make matters worse, some scholars (Ulama), speakers, and semi-literate intellectuals are somehow backing these excesses just to garner the sympathies of women. Consequently, the new generation is well aware of its rights but is utterly devoid of any sense of its responsibilities.
The case of some female students graduating from religious institutions with superficial knowledge of Tafsir, Hadith, and Fiqh is also extremely regrettable. (We are not talking about everyone here; there is a large number of such female scholars [Aalimat] whose presence has brought a revolution to homes and families, reforming society). However, in some cases, these graduating students have adopted such behavior that the husband and his family vow never to bring an Aalima daughter-in-law for the next seven generations. People bring an Aalima wife so that the household environment remains religious and the children receive an excellent upbringing, but many times, all of this just remains a mere dream.
These girls, who spend most of their lives in hostels and are treated like guests even in their own homes, remain completely unaware of the harsh realities of the world. They expect the exact same protocol in their in-laws’ house that they received at their parents’ house. When the picture looks different, they start demanding a separate living arrangement from their husband from the very next day of marriage. They argue, “In which verse is it written that I should live like a maid in my in-laws’ house or bear hardships in the kitchen to cook meals? From which Hadith is it proven that I must serve my parents-in-law?” The poor husband gets confused, wondering what kind of mess he has trapped himself in.
The irony is that these women, who acquire all the comforts of the world, never demand any evidence (Daleel) for the facilities and privileges they enjoy, but they require evidence for every responsibility assigned to them at their in-laws’ house. The result is that they become extremely negligent and careless regarding their duties.
Let me also clearly state here that I myself am strictly opposed to the oppression and excesses inflicted upon women in our society in the name of the joint family system, as well as the negligence regarding Mahram and Non-Mahram boundaries. However, its alternative is absolutely not the separate family system—adopted under the influence of feminism—where relationships and a sense of belonging are strangled, a life of pure selfishness is lived, and one’s own elderly parents are left to the mercy of the world. Islam absolutely does not teach this callousness.
(Written by: Abdul Ghaffar Salafi, Banaras)
