Building a Strong and Healthy Marriage: Tips for Muslim Couples to Overcome Marital Problems
Communication is the secret to a lasting relationship. All healthy and happy marriages keep their communication lines open.
If you are trying to solve your marital problems, you should not stop communicating with your spouse. Openly discuss the issues you are having so that you can come up with a resolution together. If you just sweep it under a rug, it will only develop into something more serious in the long run
Recognize when you’re in a gridlock
One of the most common hurdles to solving marriage problems is when you and your partner don’t see eye to eye when it comes to your marital issues.
One spouse is willing to discuss the problem and the other doesn’t find it a big deal.
When you’ve reached an impasse, it’s important to take a break.
Forcing your opinion on things won’t change the situation. By taking a break, you allow time for each of you to put things in perspective.
Express yourself constructively
When you are in an argument with your spouse, it is easy to let your emotions take over. You could end up saying hurtful things that only worsen the problem instead of fixing them.
Try to avoid this route whenever possible.
When discussing your marital problems, focus on being constructive.
It is also important to stay on-topic and not to bring up previous issues.
Break the curse of familiarity
Married couples that have been together for a long time have this false belief that they know each other deeply. However, this can often be the root of the problem in a relationship.
Never stop asking questions or attempting to get to know your partner. This will help you understand their needs better and help avoid conflict, or understand their perspective when it comes to discussing issues within your marriage.
There will be less conflict in your relationship if you know where your partner is coming from.
Make decisions together
When you are solving marriage problems, you need to approach them together and decide on the best solution as a couple. One spouse cannot be authoritarian and make decisions for the both of you. In fact, this is something that causes marriage problems in the first place.
By making decisions together, you can both be at ease knowing that you’ve considered your partner’s feelings and concerns. Avoid the urge to insist on what you want or doing things your way. Keep an open mind and encourage your spouse to voice their opinion.
If things start to get heated between you in an argument, think of ways to deescalate the conflict and try to keep things light.
Acknowledge your spouse’s feelings
Have you ever experienced opening up about your feelings and then having those feelings shut down or dismissed? It’s not a good feeling. It makes you feel undervalued and unnoticed.
You don’t want your spouse to feel this way. If you are trying to resolve conflict within your marriage, you need to encourage one another. Give your spouse a chance to speak up and make their feelings known. Even if you don’t agree with them, don’t dismiss their feelings. Instead, try to put yourself in their shoes and understand why they feel that way.
Look at what you can do to address those feelings. That is what couples in healthy marriages do.
Understand that it’s not a competition
It is not uncommon for spouses to feel the need to ‘win’ an argument. It feeds their ego and makes them feel good about themselves when they prove their spouse wrong about certain things.
You should not solve your marital problems with this kind of attitude. Often, if you win an argument, your relationship loses. This should not be about who wins or loses; focus on fixing issues in your marriage so you can both be happy and healthy.
Keep a positive attitude
This might sound like an obvious tip but most couples who are fighting find it difficult to stay positive.
Successful couples are the ones that can maintain a positive perspective throughout their relationship even when dealing with marital issues.
The fact that you and your partner are taking steps to address your problems is a good sign. This should inspire you to stay positive about the future of your relationship.
Hold on to that positivity and find ways to save your relationship, especially if you both agree that it’s worth saving.
Give your partner space
Most spouses are so desperate to resolve issues within their marriage that they end up smothering their other half.
However, taking this approach when you are dealing with marriage problems will only make things worse.
Give your spouse the space to think and reflect. It will also give you the opportunity to look at things from their perspective. When you give each other space, you don’t act based on emotions but rather on logic and reasoning.
Get counseling.
Counseling is a great way to solve marriage problems. It will involve a few sessions only, and is a great way to address issues within your relationship on a neutral ground.
You can also get the guidance of an expert so you can work out the cause of the problem.
The secret to success with counseling is to follow through with the plan. Any consultation you’ve done with a therapist will be of no use if you have no accountability and don’t follow through with it. It is important that both spouses take accountability for fixing their marital problems.
If you think counseling is expensive, it’s definitely cheaper than divorce! Plus, if you are serious about solving marriage problems, this is one of the best ways to go about it.
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