The Secret to a Happy Marriage: Pleasing Allah First

How to Achieve a Harmonious Relationship by Focusing on Allah’s Satisfaction

A woman called Sheikh Abdul Muhsin Al Ahmad and was complaining saying that she tried every single thing to please her husband but he is never happy and he is always dissatisfied.

She said: I don’t know what to do any more, I am completely burnt out, I even think of how to please him while I am praying. The Sheikh said: And he will never be pleased!!! If you are thinking to please him during your prayer while you are reading the words of Allah, he will never be pleased!! 

The Sheikh asked her: do you have one hour a day, she said: all the hours. The Sheikh said: I just need one hour from you at the last third of the night, you pray to Allah and you say: Oh Allah I want you to be happy and pleased with me, I want your Rida (Satisfaction) that’s all I want. And if Allah gets satisfied with you, everyone else will become satisfied, he will make the angels happy with you, he will even make Gibreel happy with you and he will make all those around you happy and satisfied with you.

She said: is there an ayah from the Quran that states this?

The Sheikh said: Allah says in the Quran in surah Al Rum: And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for people who give thought. [30:21]

Pay attention, who placed between your affection and mercy? You?…..No, HE did Subhanahu wa Ta’ala. If He didn’t do that, you will never be able to do it yourself. The hearts belong to Allah and HE is the only one who can change them. Allah says what can be translated as: And brought together their hearts. If you had spent all that is in the earth, you could not have brought their hearts together; but Allah brought them together. Indeed, He is Exalted in Might and Wise. 8:63

The Sheikh said: Work hard to please Allah and you will see how Allah will change him and make him pleased with you. 

After one year, the same woman came to the Sheikh and said: WAllahi I am doing less than 20% of what I used to do for him before and he is so happy and not only that, he even tries to do things to please me. She said all my intention and my efforts are always aiming to please Allah

There is a very simple equation in the Quran, if you follow it you will always be happy. Allah says: Allah is pleased with them and they are pleased with Him.. [9:100]

So do the first part (Allah pleased with them) and Allah promised He will give you the second part.

Teach it to your children….A man said, it took me two years to teach my children this. I tell them when you pray what do you ask Allah? they would say to be pleased with us, I would say and what? They would say and make us successful, I would say: No … .that is not a condition…..He said: I would ask them another time, what would you ask Allah when you pray?….They would say to be pleased with us….I would say: and what else? They would say: and get us married….I would say: not a condition. Until after two years I asked them what would you ask Allah when you pray? They said: We would ask him to be pleased with us….I said: and what else?….They said: that’s it.