The Islamic Ruling on Intercourse Without Mutual Consent

The Islamic Perspective on Intercourse Between Husband and Wife Without Mutual Consent

Question: What is the Islamic principle regarding intercourse? Sometimes, the husband has a desire for intercourse, but the wife does not feel like it at that moment, which makes it seem forced. Similarly, sometimes the wife desires intercourse, but the husband is unwilling, which also seems like compulsion. In such situations, what is the Islamic principle?

Answer: The first thing to understand in relation to this question is that in Western society, forced intercourse with a wife is considered rape, whereas consensual extramarital intercourse is not seen as a serious issue. From an Islamic perspective, both of these are wrong. If a marriage contract has been performed according to Islamic law, then sexual relations between husband and wife can never be considered as zina (adultery) in any situation. However, if there is no marriage contract, then sexual relations between a man and a woman, whether consensual or not, will be counted as zina.

It is astonishing that sexual relations between husband and wife are termed as rape. In India and Pakistan, marital rape is not yet legally recognized as a crime, but in certain cases, courts have sentenced punishments based on complaints by the wife.

For example, in 2023, a court in Chhattisgarh, India, sentenced a husband to nine years of imprisonment and imposed a fine of 10,000 rupees for engaging in unnatural sexual relations with his wife. Similarly, in 2024, in Pakistan, a man named Javed was sentenced to three years of imprisonment and fined 30,000 rupees for the crime of marital rape.

Nonetheless, in the light of Islamic law, sexual relations between husband and wife cannot be termed zina, even if it occurs without consent.

After understanding this, the second important point is that there are various rights between husband and wife. Some rights pertain to the husband, some to the wife, and some are mutual rights that both must fulfill together. Intercourse is one of these mutual rights. Both the husband and the wife must fulfill this right with mutual agreement. If there is no cooperation in fulfilling this right, it cannot be fulfilled properly.

For this reason, intercourse between husband and wife should be conducted with mutual consent. When the husband desires it, the wife should cooperate, and when the wife desires it, the husband should cooperate. If both desire it simultaneously, then there is no issue at all.

A man generally has a stronger sexual desire compared to a woman, which is why Allah has permitted a man to marry more than one wife and has described marriage as a source of tranquility and comfort for him. Although marriage provides comfort to both husband and wife, it is particularly more necessary for the husband, which is why Allah has attributed the comfort of marriage to him:

"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect." (Al-Rum: 21)

When we examine the texts related to sexual relations between husband and wife after marriage, it is clear that special emphasis is given to fulfilling the husband’s sexual desires. For example, consider this saying of the Prophet ﷺ, where he forbade a woman from observing a voluntary fast in the presence of her husband without his permission. The Prophet ﷺ said:

“It is not lawful for a lady to fast (Nawafil) without the permission of her husband when he is at home; and she should not allow anyone to enter his house except with his permission.” (Sahih al-Bukhari: 5195)

The prohibition of voluntary fasting for the woman in this case is because her husband might need her for intercourse, and she should leave the fast for him.

Generally, a man sleeps at night and may engage in intercourse at that time, but a woman has also been instructed to cater to her husband’s needs even during the day. The following hadith emphasizes this even further:

“If a man Invites his wife to sleep with him and she refuses to come to him, then the angels send their curses on her till morning.” (Sahih al-Bukhari: 5193)

All the aforementioned texts, especially the last hadith, make it clear that if the husband wishes to have intercourse at any time of the day or night, the wife should submit to his wishes, whether she has the desire for intercourse or not.

Allah has described the wife as the husband’s field, and he may fulfill his desires with her in any lawful manner, whether or not the wife is willing. Allah says:

“Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth when or how you will.” (Al-Baqarah: 223)

Today, Muslim women are increasingly influenced by Western society, which forces many husbands to have intercourse according to their wives’ desires. This ideology and practice are entirely against Islamic teachings. Therefore, Muslim women should reform themselves regarding this matter. Often, when this issue persists, it creates a wall of hatred between spouses, leading to divorce.

Another aspect of this matter is when the wife desires intercourse, the husband should also cooperate and fulfill her wishes. It is not that the wife must fulfill the husband’s desire, but when the wife desires it, it should be considered important as well. The husband has been commanded to spend the night with his wife so that he can fulfill her sexual rights. In this regard, the Prophet ﷺ said:

“And indeed, your wife has a right over you.” (Sahih al-Bukhari: 5199)

Intercourse is a shared right between husband and wife, and both must fulfill this right with mutual consent. When Jabir bin Abdullah mentioned his marriage to the Prophet ﷺ, the Prophet said to him:

“Why did you not marry a virgin girl, so that you could play with her, and she could play with you?” (Sahih al-Bukhari: 5080)

This hadith shows that marriage is meant for the husband and wife to engage with each other lovingly and happily. When mutual love diminishes, and for some reason, either the husband or wife or both begin to dislike each other, it affects their sexual relations as well. Therefore, remember that the better the compassion, love, and cooperation between husband and wife, the better their sexual relationship will be.

To summarize, I would present the following key points:

• Marriage is based on affection and love. If bitterness develops, it can break the relationship. Both the husband and wife should maintain love and cooperation in their relationship. If love and cooperation are maintained, the relationship will remain strong, and the issue of intercourse will remain simple. But without love and cooperation, not only can sexual relations deteriorate, but the marital relationship can also be ruined.

• Sometimes, either the husband or wife may refuse intercourse due to valid reasons. For instance, if the husband desires intercourse, but the wife is ill or in pain. Similarly, if the wife desires it but the husband is unable or distressed, they must consider each other’s appropriate time. There should be no obstacle to intercourse, and if either the husband or wife desires it, their partner should fulfill the wish.

• Sometimes, a husband may force his wife into unnatural intercourse or demand it during a time when she has a valid excuse, and the wife refuses. In such cases, the wife’s refusal is justified because she should obey her husband in lawful matters, not in unlawful or improper actions. The husband should also refrain from unnatural intercourse, and the wife should never agree to such acts, whether oral, manual, or anal, and should stay away from him during menstruation and postpartum periods.

• For a pleasant atmosphere in marital relations, it is important that intercourse is not frequent but occurs at intervals according to the couple’s capability so that both partners engage in it willingly. Frequent intercourse may cause physical harm and reduce desire.

• If the husband has a strong desire for intercourse and the wife cannot comply due to weakness or other reasons, he may consider remarriage. For a second marriage, it is essential that the man has the ability to fulfill the sexual rights of both wives, provide for their needs, and maintain justice between them.