Islamic Principles of Sex and Marriage: A Guide to Intimacy and Relationships

Understanding the Principles of Sex in Islam

Sex in Islam is only lawful between a man and a woman legally married according to the shariah and out of this, it’s Haram; boyfriend and girlfriend relationship or dating and courtship is totally forbidden in Islam. There is no justification for being involved in such except that you’re a sinner, sinning and disobeying Allah. Fear Allah 

 The principles of SEX in Islam are few and uncomplicated; here are some of the principles. 

 1. Sexual relation is for the pleasure of both husband and wife and for the procreation of children. Sexual intercourse is not limited to vaginal penetration but includes other forms of sexual caressing, such as kissing and fondling of various kinds.

 2. Nothing should be done that is offensive or harmful to either person. Each has a duty to be sexually available to the other, but neither has the right to disgust or injure the other.

 3. With a few exceptions, the couple can engage in any activity that they like, in any manner and in any position. Allah rewards such activities as well as He punishes severely sinful activities. The Qur’an says, “Women are your garden. Go then into your garden as it pleases you” Qur’an 2:223

4. It is forbidden to have vaginal intercourse while a woman is menstruating (Qur’an 2:222).

According to the Sunnah of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم , a man and his menstruating wife can however give one another pleasure like kissing, so long as sexual penetration is avoided._

The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Whoever has sexual intercourse with a menstruating woman, or a woman in her anus… has disbelieved in that which was revealed to Muhammad L صلى الله عليه وسلم “(Reported by Al-Tirmithi)_ This categorically means he has become a kaafir

 5. There are ahadith that forbid anal intercourse and scholars generally agree that it is not permissible. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: *”He is cursed who has anal intercourse (with his wife).”* 

(Reported by Ibn Majah)

 6. The Qur’an and the Sunnah are generally silent as to the various forms that sexual relations may take. Most authorities consider that it is up to the husband and wife in love and mutual respect to decide how to physically express their sexual desires and the sex techniques to use but PENETRATION MUST BE THROUGH THE VAGINA.

7. What goes on in the bedroom is a private matter and should not be discussed or revealed to other persons unless there is some necessity, such as health or safety. 

No man should discuss the way he penetrates his wife with others and the wife shouldn’t do as well except for necessity or medical attention. 

Abu Hurairah narrated that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said about people who reveal and openly discuss their sexual practices: _”Do you know what those who do this are like? 

Those who do this are like a male and female devil that meet each other on the road and satisfy their desires while the people watch them. “_

Imam Ibn Qayyim said: “The sexual guidance of Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم is the most effective. It preserves health, completes satisfaction and helps acquire the goals that this activity is meant to achieve”.

He added that: “Sexual intercourse is meant to achieve three essential goals:

• Reproduction and the preservation of mankind until the number of souls that Allah has ordered to come to this world is fulfilled and completed.
• Expelling the water (semen) which would cause harm if it remains inside the body.
• Satisfying sexual desire and enjoying sex and the bounty that it represents.

This last essential goal is the only one that will be satisfied in paradise, because there will be no reproduction in paradise nor accumulation of semen (sperms plus other liquids) that need to be discarded”.

Another good reason for it is to get rid of waste substances from the body.

Ibnul Qayyim said: “When the sperm is congested in the body, it may cause certain ailments, such as obsession, madness and epilepsy. 

 Discharging it on the other hand, helps cure many of these ailments. If sperm is not discharged, it becomes toxic and causes many ailments; that is why it is expelled from the body naturally”.