Understanding the Characteristics of True Love
SIGNS OF TRUE LOVE Part 1 by Shaykh Habou Umar Ali Ibrahim (حفظه الله)
1. The cancellation of all that contradict the will of your loving partner
This is true because “love is a fire that burns all that contradicts the wills and desires of your loving partner”, so far as this fire is kindled in the heart, we cannot go against the will of our beloved partner. If you love someone and still do what he or she hates, then truly you don’t love him or her, maybe you love what’s attached to him or her and not the person himself.
2. Minimizing the good you offer to your partner no matter how great it is and contrary should occur if the good comes from the partner that’s, consider what you always give to your love one as something small in your eyes while what he gives you, no matter how small you should treasure it and consider it big. On the other hand, if an evil comes from your partner, it should be minimized and forgiven
3. Obeying the instructions of your partner and preferring his or her wishes and will over yours.
This is the essence of love, because the couples are having a united will coming from one and an indivisible heart, hence closing all the rooms of discrepancy.
As regards to this point, lovers are divided into three types;
-Lovers who love things associated with their partners, not the personality of the partners
– Lovers who love the personality of their partners regardless of any other thing.
– Lovers who love their partners and their associates. These are the best among lovers, because if you love me, you ought to love everything relating to me, [love me, and love my cats like they say].
4. Patience with the partner
This is one of the strongest principles governing not only love but also the entire life; we must be patient with our partners in love, patient in obeying his commands, patient in living together with him.
5. Enjoy discussing with your partner; through listening to him attentively, expressing your love and feelings this way, “I feel something in my heart; it’s like a little flame; every time I see you, this flame lights up, this flame is special for you because I love you”
6. Mutual Jealousy
Jealousy is regarded as a defensive emotion that both men and women use to guard their intimate love relationship. The absence of jealousy renders love meaningless, that’s why Ibn Qayyim said:
“He who claims love 
to somebody while he is seeing his dignity being violated, and people struggling to harm him in order to make him angry by neglecting his right and underestimating his value, but he remains with a cool heart without jealousy, is lying in his claim” 
7. They try to keep themselves happy
Answer from bottom of your heart and fear Allah; do you see the happiness of your partner and part of yours? If there exist true and sincere love in you then the happiness of your partner comes before any other happiness. That is why some scholars said:
“Love is to prefer the desire of your partner above all desires” 
8. True love makes you more important to yourselves
If there’s true love, then you should be more important to yourselves. That lovers are more important to each other than any other person. You cannot claim love meanwhile your brothers, sisters, friends, colleagues, movies’ actors etc are more important to you than your life partner! Stop deceiving yourselves; the bitter truth is that there is no love between you.
9. You must love your families
More often one of the signs that indicate deep love is when couples will try not only to impress themselves but will also put their efforts together in order to impress their family members and close halal friends…
They know that their families are of them; a woman who thinks that she can win the heart of her husband by neglecting his family is working in vain; and so too is a man.
Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) said: “Halah the daughter of Khuwailid seeked permission to enter, the Prophet Muhammad pbuh said:
اللهم هالة
“O Allah let her be Halah”. You remember Khadijah Bint Khuwailid, right? The first wife of the prophet Muhammad pbuh, right? This is one of her relatives that the Prophet Muhammad pbuh allowed her to enter and was happy for her visit …
This hadith shows how the Prophet Muhammad pbuh treated the family of his wife Khadijah.
The prophet Muhammad pbuh used to slaughter an animal and follow the friends of Khadijah to offer them some of it.
Note: Your family is not more important than your spouse but, the family is not useless for giving one of their members to you.
10. Share the burden of your partner
You are always willing to help one another in times of difficulties even though you have your individual problems.
You are made to laugh together, cry together, happy together and sad together.
Being happy while the other partner is sad or sad when he or she is happy contradicts the arithmetic of love which holds 1+1=2; meaning, two separate people living with one heart, one will, one ambition and one target.
END
From the writings of the Great Scholar Shaykh Habou Umar Ali Ibrahim (حفظه الله)