Why Getting Married Young is a Key to a Fulfilling Life: Intimacy, Happiness, and Spiritual Growth
SEVEN MAJOR MISTAKES MEN DO WHEN GETTING MARRIED THAT JEOPARDIZE THEIR CHANCES OF HAVING A HAPPY MARITAL LIFE
Getting married as a young man or woman is the best achievement in life you can make because not only do you enjoy intimacy, happiness and stability, but it also helps prevent you from sexual promiscuity and it completes half of your religion for you provided you fulfil what it takes in a marital life!
There’s no smoke without fire like people say; before you start having some marital problems, it could be a result of how you started the cause/road of marriage or how you handle your marriage!
Though there’s no marriage without challenges or problem because definitely Allah do test couples, but sometimes we invite problems and difficulty into our marriages!
Today we have chose to talk about what men do before marriage that actually jeopardize their chances of having a happy marital life and it’s something they should take responsibility of and stop feeling haughty and arrogant.
Change is the only constant; change to a good husband and a good father to have a good and a happy home if you care!
MISTAKE NUMBER ONE
Thinking that you’re doing a favor to the lady by marrying her
There’s no woman you meet who’s from a tree; she definitely has a home and she’s not homeless.
When you think you’re helping her by marrying her, then you’re fooling yourself and that’s the beginning of your failure in marriage because everytime you will always remind her of everything you’ve done to her and due to such, she will start feeling uncomfortable around you, and her care and respect for you reduced.
No man feels humiliated like the one disrespected; but when you make a woman constantly feel she was desperate and you helped her by marrying her, you’ll lose your respect from her and anything can happen!
Rather, it’s a woman who does the favor for you by abandoning her mother, father and entire family for your sake, serving you and growing your children for you; undergoing body deformation through childbirth for you and many more and that’s why majority of the marriages, women get old faster than men!
You didn’t meet her starving to say you did a favor to her by feeding her; you didn’t meet her naked to say you clothed her, you didn’t meet her homeless to say you gave her shelter; she had all these under her parent; you only voluntarily chose to take over all that as she sacrifices everything for you including get family just to be with you!
What favor have you done? You’ve done a favor of completing half of your religion! Treat her well and stop fooling yourself that you’re doing a favor to her!
MISTAKE NUMBER TWO
Portraying as a rich man when in reality you’re not!
This is very common among young men today portraying themselves rich whereas they’re just managing.
When you portray yourself as a rich man just to win a lady, when you finally marry her and she finds out you’re not the man you portrayed to be before you marry her, she will automatically start disrespecting you, challenging you and the like.
Worse of it, she maybe saying, “I regret marrying you”. This statement alone is sufficient to frustrate you if you think about it… 
But you caused it!
Present yourself the way you out, if she accepts you like that, fine and good and if she rejects you, my brother look for your level depending on your financial capability.
You can’t take 10years to gather money then portray yourself as a rich guy just to have a lady; what happens after having her? Like seriously know your level and buy your shoes according to your size.
Ladies too need to be considerate and easy-going and stop making some of our brothers to live a fake life just to please you!
MISTAKE NUMBER 3
Not agreeing with the lady but trying to use her parent to force her to accept you.
Forced marriage has no place in Islam and forced marriage always end in marital crisis. A lady in Islam is the only one who has the right to choose who to marry and not her parent doing it for her.
If you love a lady, beg her family’s persmission and talk with her to accept first before you proceed with the marriage otherwise you may end in a marital war though few come out to be successful!
When you use her parent to force her to accept you, you’ll hardly have control over her or talk to her and she listens but few come out successful. Don’t make that mistake if you want to enjoy your marriage!
MISTAKE NUMBER 4
Not caring about her religious commitment and dressing before marriage
This is the first disease today among young men when they love a lady, they just turn to be like a slave following his master. But when you ask them, they’ll say don’t worry when I marry her, she will change but you’re buying such indecent clothes for her.
You need to ensure she’s decent before leaving her parent. It’s sad seeing many married women walking in the street with makeup, breast pop-ups and you can even see her breast wear, with hijab meant for babies showing their hairs whereas the husband is claiming to be religious!
If your wife can’t be religious, you’ll failed as a man and definitely failing to achieve jannah because she’s your responsibility.
That’s why the Prophet Muhammad pbuh said the first thing you look in a woman is her religion before anything else but we do the opposite and this always bring chaos at home when you try to change her to be serious about her religious commitment!
MISTAKE NUMBER FIVE
Thinking that you’re too handsome and you can get any lady you want anytime
This is something very common among young men today especially when they have some attractive appearance and they keep deceiving themselves that they’re handsome and even go as far as boasting about that to their wives.
If you can’t humble yourself as a man and treat your wife very well, then you’re missing out. If you think that you can get any lady you want anytime, why haven’t you gotten them? Because of this, some men are busy fornicating up and down in the name of I have the right to marry another wife. Subhan Allah!
Because she accepted to marry you doesn’t mean that men weren’t asking her out; it’s not your so called handsomeness that she accepted; if it’s about handsomeness, let me tell you the truth that you’re not handsome. When you’ll be sick for a week and look at your body, you’ll realise that you were never handsome, it was just a camouflage imagination.
Women today are not interested in how much you’re handsome, they want someone who’s responsible and treats women with respect! If you ever divorce your wife because you think you’re handsome and can get another one anytime, then you lie; then you’ll keep on divorcing!
Like they say, you never know what you have until you lost it!
MISTAKE NUMBER SIX
Not respecting the lady or her family because you think you’re rich
Because you’re rich doesn’t mean you should be rude, arrogant and mannerless. Many young guys today are so rude towards the ladies they want to marry simply because they think ladies love money and with money, you can do anything even up-to the point of disrespecting even their parents.
If your money can’t make you humble, then you have closed all your possible doors to Paradise. No matter what, age is important and you must respect those older than you!
Today, you’ll even see a guy taking his in-laws to court, Subhan Allah. If you can’t respect them as your in-laws, why can’t you respect their age?
Everyone love it when you respect those they cherish; if you want your wife to respect you, you must respect to her parents! Parents are a blessing and you shouldn’t close the door because you think you’re rich! Be humble and treat them or talk to your in-laws as if they’re your own parent!
MISTAKE NUMBER SEVEN
Borrowing money to have an expensive wedding
Gone are the days we used to follow the sunnah in our marriages. Today, we Muslims compete with non-Muslims during our wedding and many more and even do it more than them.
Subhan Allah you’ll a Muslim lady during her wedding, dressed in white tight gown like a kaafir that pops her breast out, with makeup, dancing in the midst of men in the name of enjoyment! What enjoyment when you’re inviting shaytan into your home from day one? Dancing in public as a lady in the midst of men? That’s haram, completely Haram. Worst of it, she’s half naked, making people lust over her curvy body, dancing step, etc.
You’re inviting shaytan and don’t be surprised that your marital problems may begin the next day after the wedding night or even your wedding night through a little disagreement with your spouse or something of such.
Some men go as far as borrowing money to have the best wedding and sadly the next morning, there may not even be breast fast at home because everything was spent.
Wedding is just a day and no one has ever been given award for the best wedding. Make it simple like the prophet Muhammad pbuh practically taught us and according to your financial capability. Avoid music because music is the Qur’an of Satan, avoid mixed gathering. You’re the man, you decide who to come and how the occasion should be like. Stop trying to impress people.
You’ll see after marriage, instead of a man to be enjoying his marriage, he’ll instead be struggling to pay his debts and some couples even get divorced when the man hasn’t paid all the money he borrowed for their wedding
The man after marriage will become very depressed, any little mistake from the wife, he stings like a scorpion . You wanted an expensive wedding, right? Enjoy your marriage with depression and misery
That’s not just all, the trouble from your wife too will be toxic! Worse of it, the consequences of the sin you committed that day by disobeying Allah and inviting shaytan through music, dancing, mixed gathering, indecent dressing, etc all these you’ll pay the consequences unless you make sincere repentance for Allah’s Mercy to prevail!
#Marriage #HusbandWifeMatters #Spouse