Second Marriage in Islam: Rules, Rulings, and Wisdom Explained

Rules, Rulings, and Wisdom Behind Second Marriage in Islam

Second Marriage Rules and Issues

Marriage is the tradition of the Prophets. Allah’s command is:
وَلَقَدْ أَرْسَلْنَا رُسُلاً مِّن قَبْلِكَ وَجَعَلْنَا لَهُمْ أَزْوَاجًا وَذُرِّيَّةً وَمَا كَانَ لِرَسُولٍ أَن يَأْتِيَ بِآيَةٍ إِلَّا بِإِذْنِ اللَّهِ لِكُلِّ أَجَلٍ كِتَابٌ (الرعد: 38)
Translation: We have sent many messengers before you, and We made for them wives and children. And it is not for any messenger to bring a sign except by the permission of Allah. For every appointed term is a decree.

Anyone who turns away from this Sunnah of the Prophet is not considered a true Muslim. It is narrated from Ummul-Mu’minin Aisha (RA) that the Prophet ﷺ said:
انِّكاحُ من سنَّتي ، فمن لم يعمَل بسنَّتي فليسَ منِّي ، وتزوَّجوا ، فإنِّي مُكاثرٌ بِكُمُ الأممَ ، ومن كانَ ذا طَولٍ فلينكَح ، ومن لم يجِد فعلَيهِ بالصِّيامِ ، فإنَّ الصَّومَ لَهُ وجاءٌ (صحيح ابن ماجه:1508)
Translation: Marriage is my tradition, and whoever does not follow my tradition is not from me. Marry, for I will boast of your large numbers before the other nations. Whoever has the means should marry, and whoever cannot should fast, as fasting is a shield.

Anyone who has the financial means and marries has followed the Sunnah. On the other hand, those who have the means but choose not to marry are neglecting the Sunnah. This includes those who reach the marriageable age and are at risk of falling into sin but delay marriage for worldly reasons. It is the responsibility of guardians to ensure timely marriages for their dependents to protect them from immorality, which is one of the main purposes of marriage.

The Prophet ﷺ said:
يا معشرَ الشبابِ ! من استطاع منكم الباءةَ فليتزوجْ . فإنه أغضُّ للبصرِ ، وأحصنُ للفرجِ . ومن لم يستطعْ فعليه بالصومِ . فإنه له وجاءٌ (صحيح مسلم:1400)
Translation: O youth, whoever among you is able to marry should marry, for it helps lower the gaze and protect the private parts. And whoever cannot fast, for fasting is a shield.

If a man marries one woman, he has followed the Sunnah. As for the issue of second marriage, it is permissible for men. In the Qur’an, Allah mentions the possibility of two marriages, then three, then four, but gives the condition that if one cannot be just, then one should choose only one.

فَانْكِحُوا مَا طَابَ لَكُمْ مِنَ النِّسَاءِ مَثْنَى وَثُلاثَ وَرُبَاعَ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تَعْدِلُوا فَوَاحِدَةً (النساء:3)
Translation: Then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one.

Here are some rulings regarding second marriage:

Ruling on Second Marriage:

It is important to understand that during the time of Jahiliyyah, people often practiced polygyny. Islam sets a limit for marriage, permitting up to four wives, as long as justice is maintained among them. Multiple marriages are allowed, but they are conditional on fairness. If one cannot do justice, then it is better to remain with one wife. In modern society, it is often considered socially inappropriate to marry a second wife, while illicit relationships or adultery are often not frowned upon. Islam permits second marriages, and those who consider this unlawful or improper clearly lack understanding of Allah’s command.

Conditions for Second Marriage:

Second marriage is not as simple as some may think. There are several conditions that must be met:

• First Condition:The man must be able to maintain justice between both wives. This is supported by Allah’s statement:
  فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تَعْدِلُوا فَوَاحِدَةً (النساء:3)
  Translation: If you fear that you will not be just, then marry only one.
• Second Condition: The man must be able to financially support both wives. Allah says:
  وَلْيَسْتَعْفِفِ الَّذِينَ لَا يَجِدُونَ نِكَاحًا حَتَّى يُغْنِيَهُمُ اللَّهُ مِنْ فَضْلِهِ (النور:33)
  Translation: And let those who cannot marry remain chaste until Allah enriches them from His bounty.
• Third Condition: The man must have the physical capability to fulfill the needs of more than one woman. The Prophet ﷺ said:
  من استطاع منكم الباءةَ فليتزوجْ (صحيح مسلم)
  Translation: Whoever among you has the means to marry should marry.

If these conditions are met, then a man may marry a second woman; otherwise, he should not.

Rights and Etiquette of Second Marriage:

Among the rights of both wives is that the man must divide his time fairly between them. For instance, he should alternate nights with each wife and when traveling, draw lots to decide which wife he will take with him. Both wives must be provided with equal provisions, shelter, and clothing. Each wife should have her own private space to avoid any inappropriate exposure.

It is also permissible for a man to be intimate with multiple wives in one night, as was the practice of the Prophet ﷺ. Anas bin Malik (RA) narrates:
كان النبيُّ صلَّى اللهُ عليه وسلَّم يَدورُ على نسائِه في الساعة الواحدةِ ، منَ الليلِ والنهارِ ، وهنَّ إحدى عشْرَةَ . قال : قلتُ لأنسٍ : أوَ كان يُطيقُه ؟ قال : كنا نتحدَّثُ أنه أُعطِيَ قوةَ ثلاثينَ . (صحيح البخاري:268)
Translation: The Prophet ﷺ used to go to all his wives in one night, and they were eleven. I asked Anas, “Could he handle it?” He replied, “We used to say that he was given the strength of thirty men.”

Thus, a man can be intimate with multiple wives in one night, but it is not appropriate to engage in such actions in the presence of another wife. It is also inappropriate for one wife to view the private parts of another wife.

A husband should never scold, hit, or discriminate between his wives or their children. He should strive to maintain a loving and peaceful atmosphere in the household and avoid actions that might cause discord. If any conflict arises between the wives, he should resolve it gently without showing favoritism.

Polygyny and Women’s Perspective:

Islam is a religion of mercy and does not wrong anyone. Naturally, women feel that a second marriage is an injustice to them. This is why women usually do not prefer their husbands to take a second wife. I would like to tell my Muslim sisters that if you submit your soul to the Shariah and focus on the collective benefit rather than personal advantage, and also reflect on the purpose of marriage and the wisdom behind polygyny, your heart will surely be at ease with Allah’s decree.

The Wisdom Behind Polygyny:

First, it should be kept in mind that one of the purposes of marriage is to increase the Muslim population, with the Prophet ﷺ expressing pride over this on the Day of Judgment. Similarly, the protection of modesty (chastity) is also a key objective of marriage.

• A polygamous marriage is a divine command, and Allah’s commands are always for a good reason, whether our limited intellect can comprehend them or not.
• Naturally, there are more women in the world than men. Due to men’s work, disputes, wars, killings, and corruption, men tend to face more harm. If every man were to marry only once, the issue of the remaining unmarried women would become more complicated. One of the reasons for the dowry burden is the surplus of women; if there were fewer women, men could simply pay and marry. The abundance of women would not be a problem if people practiced polygyny. Today, people have abandoned marriage and resorted to illicit relationships, which has led to the spread of diseases like AIDS.
• Women go through certain phases where their husbands might not be available. In such cases, a man either marries another woman, resorts to illicit relations, or unlawfully benefits from his first wife. In all these cases, a second marriage is permissible and preferable.
• Some men naturally have a stronger sexual drive, and for them, the permissible way to satisfy this is through a second marriage, rather than falling into sinful actions.
• Some couples may be unable to have children with one wife and live in despair. However, many people have children after entering a second marriage.
• Widows, divorced women, or elderly women (due to illness, deformity, or due to a long waiting period for marriage) are often seen as undesirable. If anyone marries such women, they are often looked down upon. Marrying such women, where kindness and care are shown, serves the true purposes of marriage.
• Polygyny helps greatly in protecting modesty in times of fitna (temptation) in society.

The Permission of the First Wife for a Second Marriage:

A common misconception is that a man cannot marry a second wife without the consent of his first wife. This misconception is incorrect. In Islam, the man has autonomy regarding his second marriage and is not obligated to seek permission from his first wife, as the need for a second marriage arises for him, not for her. There is no evidence in the Quran or Hadith that requires asking the first wife for permission for a second marriage.

However, if a man asks his first wife or informs her about the second marriage as an act of kindness, there is no harm in it.

The First Wife Demanding Divorce Due to the Second Marriage:

Some women become so angry at the idea of their husband marrying a second wife that they forcibly demand the divorce of the second wife and threaten death or harm. Such a demand is not permissible and is an act of disobedience to Allah and His Messenger. The Prophet ﷺ said:

لا يحِلُّ لامرأةٍ تسألُ طلاقَ أختِها؛ لِتَستفرِغَ صَحفَتَها، فإنَّما لها ما قُدِّرَ لها (صحيح البخاري:5152)

Translation: It is not permissible for a woman to ask for her sister’s divorce so that she can marry the man and take her place. She will only get what has been decreed for her.

Therefore, women should exercise patience and bind themselves to the Shariah. Consider if you were a widow or a divorcee and another man married you. Would you be happy or sad? It is Satan who distances affection from people’s hearts and sows discord. We should fight the devil, not the co-wives.

Hiding the Second Marriage from the First Wife:

Some people hide their second marriage from the first wife to avoid disputes or unforeseen harm. Scholars have permitted hiding the second marriage under such circumstances. However, I would like to add that the husband should first try to explain the need for the second marriage to the first wife so that the sudden news does not cause conflicts between families and children. If the husband genuinely feels the need for a second marriage and can maintain justice between the wives, and the first wife is opposed and does not agree with his views, he may still marry another woman, whether or not he informs her. In this case, hiding the marriage is not as problematic as underestimating the divine command of polygyny.

Polygyny as a Misyar Marriage:

Misyar is a contemporary form of marriage, and Arab scholars have issued fatwas permitting it, as it fulfills the conditions and requirements of marriage. In this arrangement, the wife willingly waives some of her rights, such as maintenance and having the husband stay with her every night. The husband is free to visit her from time to time, especially benefiting elderly, widowed, or divorced women in protecting their modesty. When Misyar marriage is permissible, there is no objection to a second marriage. However, if the marriage is made for a fixed duration like Mut’ah, it will not be considered valid, but rather as unlawful intercourse (zina).

Objections to Second Marriage and Their Responses

It is commonly objected to polygyny that disputes arise among two or three co-wives. This is indeed seen in the Indian subcontinent. But whose fault is it? In Saudi Arabia, where polygyny also occurs, the environment is not the same as in the Indian subcontinent. What is the reason for this difference? First, it should be understood that conflict is a part of human life. Where there are two people, differences in views are inevitable. Often, conflicts arise due to these ideological differences. The cause of the dispute is not necessarily the second marriage; disputes also occur between one wife and her husband. The high rate of divorce is clear evidence of this. Yes, disputes among multiple wives can increase, but a man can resolve them through good treatment and wise management. The life of the Prophet ﷺ is a priceless example for us; he had eleven wives, and even among them, occasional disagreements occurred. This does not mean that due to conflict or dispute, one should refrain from polygyny or reject Allah’s command.

Another objection is commonly raised, especially by non-Muslims and some modern-minded Muslims: “If a man can have multiple wives, why can’t a woman?” A woman can marry more than one man, but not at the same time, meaning she cannot have multiple husbands while one is alive. If her husband dies, she can remarry; if her husband divorces her, she can remarry, and similarly, if her husband goes missing, she can marry again. But a woman cannot have multiple husbands at the same time. The reason for this is that Allah has permitted only men to have multiple wives simultaneously; this right is not granted to women.

The wisdom behind this lies in the concept of ghayrah (chastity or jealousy). A man cannot tolerate sharing his wife with another man. Additionally, a woman’s inherent physical and emotional differences, such as weakness, illness (like menstruation and postpartum), lower sexual desire compared to men, and the inability to manage multiple husbands (in terms of serving husbands, raising children, and household duties), are reasons why a woman cannot have multiple husbands at once. If a woman had several husbands, there would be a risk of sexually transmitted diseases and the possibility of mixing up parentage. The household chaos would be another issue. Who and how would it be determined which husband she stays with and when? How would she manage the upbringing of children, the household work, and fulfill the responsibilities towards different husbands? These are issues that have no clear solution. For these reasons, Islam has not allowed a woman to have multiple husbands simultaneously.