Islamic Parenting: Educating Children in the Social Media Age
How to Educate Children in the Age of Social Media?
This is the era of media, and among the various forms of media, social media has played a prominent role. As a result, people of all ages—children, youth, adults, and the elderly—have all become connected to it, and it has become their companion for twenty-four hours a day. There is no doubt that social media platforms like WhatsApp, Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus, YouTube, and websites have countless benefits. These platforms have made the world feel smaller, facilitated the transmission of news, provided access to information, and simplified social and economic interactions, including the promotion of nations and religions. At the same time, it is also a well-established fact that these social connections have had very deep negative effects on society and individuals, including children, youth, and the elderly.
The early years of childhood leave a profound impact on every stage of life. If a child’s early years are filled with colorful, indulgent, and immoral experiences, their adolescence will likely be very troubled. Adolescence is inherently a time of confusion and excitement, and preventing immorality in this phase depends on the child’s upbringing. If parents have instilled awareness, culture, ethics, and good character in their child during childhood, the child is more likely to navigate the turbulent years of youth in a virtuous manner.
Psychologists affirm that the early stages of childhood are a critical period when mental and physical development occurs rapidly, making this time extremely sensitive. During this age, children absorb every word they hear and every image they see as if they are etched into stone, and they begin to learn new things quickly. The foundation for future growth is laid during this stage.
We are living in an age of trials and tribulations, with various forms of mischief and corruption emerging. The advent of social media has amplified these challenges. For Muslims, the question of how to guide our children in this era of social media is a serious one, a difficult and complex issue. Children, by nature, can be stubborn. If, due to our negligence, they become obsessed with social media, no force in the world can protect them from the consequences of that obsession, leading to a wasted youth and old age.
The tragedy of our time is that when a child is born, they are immediately handed a mobile phone or tablet to play with. As these children become more familiar with the mobile device, their attachment to it deepens. Over time, they become more withdrawn, losing interest in studies, avoiding friends and family, and preferring solitude. The mobile phone with internet access becomes their source of comfort, and as their addiction grows, so does their moral decay, leading to mood swings, violence, isolation, indulgence in inappropriate content, and the use of profane language.
If we want to save our children’s childhood and give them a bright future instead of a dark life, we must keep them away from mobile phones for now. In the following lines, I would like to offer brief guidance on how to educate our children, ensuring that their childhood remains safe and that their adolescence and old age are spent in a good environment.
Education is Not Just a Collection of Beautiful Words to Be Memorized; It is Continuous Effort and Action.
Training children is not just about teaching them beautiful words or getting them to memorize them, and thinking that they have been educated. No, education is the continuous effort and practice of instilling good morals, proper manners, and knowledge. Keep this principle in mind when starting to educate your children.
The first stage of education is physical training, and this is what will shape their character and personality. Islam emphasizes cleanliness, and this should be instilled from childhood. Physical training includes regular bathing, maintaining cleanliness while eating and drinking, and ensuring that washing hands and face, and cleaning teeth are a constant habit, not occasional ones. Physical training also involves attention to exercise. There is no need to go to the gym or perform complex tricks; parents can take their children on walks in the mornings or evenings, or whenever they have some free time. During outings, avoid immoral places; otherwise, the benefit will turn into harm. Teach children to wear clean clothes, speak pure words, and practice virtuous habits and positive thoughts. These are all part of physical training.
The second, and most important, type of training is spiritual education, which is the essence of our Islamic identity. The Prophet (peace be upon him) taught children from a young age, taught them ethics, manners, and principles for eating, drinking, sitting, and sleeping. Many of us think that since a child is young, they will understand when they grow up. But no, we must begin educating our children right from the start.
The first aspect of spiritual education is to make them aware of Tawhid (the oneness of Allah) and beliefs, and to make them aware of and turn away from atheistic views, polytheistic practices, innovations, and disbelief. For this, it is essential that our children first learn the Quran, or at least, along with their English education, we must arrange for Quranic education at home. It is often observed that children receiving purely English education and living in such an environment do not give importance to Quranic teachings and its commandments. Therefore, children should be taught Islamic practices, from the proper manners of relieving themselves to the duties and obligations in Islam.
I would like to offer a piece of advice from my limited experience: Children studying in religious schools are not as much of a concern, but for those in modern schools, by the age of ten, at least encourage them to memorize the 30th Juz (part) of the Quran, or as much as possible. Also, have them memorize a selected collection of authentic Hadith, ranging from forty to a hundred Hadiths, and necessary supplications and remembrances (azkar). Remember, children are imitators; they will imitate their parents, friends, and the environment they are in. Therefore, along with religious education, their surrounding environment must also be religious, and as a guardian, you must set a good example for them. Keep in mind that whatever you do will be captured by the camera of your child’s mind, and they will repeat it.
In spiritual training, there must be practical implementation, not just theoretical knowledge. Empty words will not be beneficial. Children are more inclined to do what they see others doing. If they see you using a mobile phone, they will use one too; if they see you reading the Quran, they will read it as well. For practical implementation, take them to the mosque to pray with you, have them stand in your row during prayer, show them how to perform wudu (ablution), demonstrate the importance of cleanliness, and teach them other cleanliness practices. During Ramadan, if possible, encourage them to fast.
Teach them good manners like greeting others (saying “Assalamu Alaikum”), saying “Alhamdulillah” when sneezing, respecting elders, serving parents and teachers, showing kindness to relatives, and remembering Allah during daily activities like sleeping, waking, and using the restroom. Similarly, educate them about bad morals and prevent them from engaging in actions like hitting other children, showing disrespect to elders, insulting parents, stealing, lying, and gossiping.
The third and final point is to keep children as far as possible from social media. Never give them a mobile phone, especially one with internet access, and do not give them phones for gaming purposes. Childhood requires play, and for that, they can be encouraged to play in the house or with good friends. You can involve them in school sports programs or engage them in activities that benefit their mind, such as drawing or writing, and provide rewards for such activities. This way, they will be more interested in these activities than the distractions of the phone.
Ten Key Points to Keep in Mind for Effective Parenting in the Age of Social Media
(1) For effective training, it is essential that the parent’s character is exemplary. They should not be easily angered, should not scold children for minor mistakes, and should instead address mistakes with a gentle tone. If a child causes discomfort, it should be ignored. The idea is to create a loving environment where children can grow well and learn best. Yes, unnecessary fights, anger, or bitterness between spouses can hinder the children’s proper upbringing.
(2) Just as we strive to create a good environment at home, the child’s environment should also be positive in all places they go, such as school, friends’ houses, parks, and places of recreation. Avoid taking them to any gatherings or events where immorality is practiced. In one sentence, ensure that your child’s eyes do not fall upon wrongdoing, because they absorb and replicate what they see.
(3) If Allah has blessed you with several children, then love them all equally. If there is injustice in the purchasing of gifts or decision-making, the effect of your upbringing will be lost. If you are not the biological parent but a guardian, teacher, or mentor to many children, you must treat them all with equal love and affection. Otherwise, the impact of your training and education will be nullified.
(4) For children who have become aware and are over the age of ten, there is no harm in teaching them computer programming. However, the freedom of internet access on computers poses the same danger as internet-enabled mobile phones. Similarly, keep children away from TV or gaming devices. Parents often think, “What harm can playing games cause?” I would say, what benefit is there in worldly games other than wasting time and negatively impacting the mind?
(5) If you want to keep your children away from the harms of mobile phones and social media, minimize your own use of mobiles in front of them. If they see you constantly using a mobile phone, it will imprint on their minds, and they will ask for one too. When you refuse, this will turn into stubbornness, and when you’re asleep or forget to keep the phone at home, they will take it and use it. Remember, avoid giving them a mobile phone with internet access and do not make them familiar with its functions. Now is the time for books and pens, so give them books and pens instead.
(6) Develop the qualities of a mentor within yourself, begin advising yourself first, become a model of good morals, and solve children’s issues based on their psychology. Always fulfill their needs and desires with proper reasoning; don’t prioritize love for your children over their proper training. Encouraging wrong behavior instead of correcting them, or praising them for bad actions rather than good ones, will not help them grow; it will only make them worse. Remember, the flaws of the mentor are the flaws of the children, and the goodness of the mentor reflects in the children’s goodness.
(7) Every child has a natural inclination and unique ability. The mentor must understand this so that the child can be guided appropriately based on these natural talents, and their inherent abilities can be nurtured and maximized.
(8) To protect your children from the trials of this world and the tricks of Shaytaan, seek refuge in Allah and make plenty of supplications. The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) has made prayers for the protection of children, which are well documented, but never use amulets or “Imam Zaman” for protection as this is considered shirk. Also, be mindful of their health. Eat pure, halal sustenance and provide the same for your children. Halal and pure food has a positive impact on the body and soul, while impure or forbidden food has a detrimental effect.
(9) During free time, people generally tend to gravitate towards idleness and indulgence in worldly pleasures. With this in mind, children’s free time, especially during long breaks, should be spent on activities that enhance their awareness, sharpen their minds, and nurture their morals and ethics.
(10) Islamic stories will be very useful for the correction and training of children. At bedtime, narrate stories of the Prophets, scholars, and the Companions (Sahabah) that teach truth, justice, trustworthiness, courage, charity, working hard in accordance with the Sunnah, good treatment of parents, respect for elders, kindness to younger ones, and Islamic etiquette. Through these stories, Islamic teachings will be deeply ingrained in children in the best possible manner.
These are my thoughts and conclusions regarding the protection of children in today’s turbulent times. I hope that there may be something beneficial in them, which when put into practice, will secure a safe childhood for our children and a bright, successful future for them. May Allah protect our children from the evil of this time and the grasp of Shaytaan. Ameen.
By MAQUBOOL AHMAD SALAFI
Islamic Dawah Center, Northern Ta’if (Masrah)
