Preparing for a Happy Marriage: 7 Key Principles for a Lady to Build a Strong Foundation
Having good relationship with Allah
It’s important as a young lady who wants a better future for herself to learn her religion properly, be a practicing Muslimah. When you fix your relationship with Allah; definitely, you’d have a good relationship with people especially your future husband.
Keeping your virginity until you’re married.
Today, sexual immoralities are so common that it’s difficult to see a lady at 20 who’s still a Virgin. Your virginity is the best gift of trust, truthfulness, good moral upbringing, and loyalty you can offer your husband on your wedding night. A man who marries his wife as a virgin, will not find it hard trusting her.
If unfortunately you’ve been deflowered, all you need to do is to make a sincere repentance and avoid it; don’t grief over it or find pleasure over it! Verily, Allah forgives all sins!
Avoid Dating or having male friends
“He is just my classmate when I was schooling” is a statement that has created many problems in marriages.
No upright man will take it lightly listening his wife on a phone call with a guy he knows not.
Dating is Haram and if you have no plans marrying him, stop eating from his pocket or doing nasty things with him. No man spends on a woman not related to him except for a reason; some men when after spending on you and fails sleeping with you or marrying you always result to other means to destroy you and your happiness.
He’s just a friend! Let me tell you, love is not a planned act; it’s an interesting psychological phenomenon from biological urge due to hormonal response in one and that’s why only a little thing could make one fall in love with you like your cool voice, your way of movement, your eyes, beauty, etc.
Ensure to be sincere to yourself. Ask yourself now; the kind of lifestyle you’re living with men, can you choose that for your daughter? Or can you allow your son spend on a lady who will never accept to marry him?
Some ladies pay their fees, house rents, bills in school from money they collect from men through various Haram means. You’ll see a girl with iPhone whereas her family can’t afford her even a smartphone. The kind of life you live before marriage, tells how your home will be.
Recently in university of Buea, Cameroon a man killed his girlfriend allegedly through poisoning whom he sponsored and after graduating, she denied to marry him. Around 2014 in Bamenda university Cameroon, a man set himself and the lady he was sponsoring on fire to dead simply because she refused to marry him.
Around 2018, a man committed suicide after seeing the wedding invitation of the lady he was sponsoring in Dschang university of Cameroon with hope of marrying her.
These are just a few examples from my country, yours isn’t different!
Dating or girlfriend and boyfriend relationship is haram. If you have no plans marrying him, stop deceiving him!
Avoid Friends who talk only about fashion or men.
The kind of friends you keep determine who you are. It’s very unfortunate that a decent lady leaves their house to school elsewhere only to end up being a “hookup or a run girl” as it’s being called today. Not everyone is worthy to be your friend especially if you want a better life tomorrow!
Wallahi there was a case precisely in Douala university of Cameroon where a man was sponsoring a girl in the university to later marry her. The man had to attend his friend’s birthday in a club only to be shocked to see that the girl he dreamt marrying as a wife was dancing naked entertaining men in the club. The lady later confessed her friends led her into it that there was a good payment for that. And there are hundreds of different cases you may have heard or witnessed.
Some ladies today are complaining in their marriages that their husbands aren’t taking good care of them financially not because the man isn’t doing something but because she lived a harlotic lifestyle in the past full of luxuries and here she’s settling for less. How do you expect your marriage to work?
No man is perfect and you must put that in your mind but never fall for a man without Deen
Avoid searching only for rich men as husband or Mr. Perfect
When you intend to have a better marital home tomorrow, avoid searching for “Poverty Eradicator” (rich men) for yourself.
You’ll see a lady whose parents can’t barely provide for her saying if the man isn’t having a car or a mansion, I can’t marry him whereas her mother married her father when he didn’t even have good shoes.
When a man spends much to marry you considering your family background full of poverty, he can always treat you the way he wants except a few after all if you leave him, you’ll go back to your poverty home. I’ve seen a woman being badly abused by her husband but she still remains there just because she doesn’t want to go back to trekking if they divorce and she has to deal with such upto the point the man brings women to their matrimonial bed.
Marrying a rich man is not a crime but don’t make it your priority. You can still marry a poor man and you both work hard to become rich.
No one has ever seen satisfied by money and it won’t be you. If your marriage is built on money, it will definitely collapse and that’s why divorce rate is very high especially within celebrities or “stars”.
Avoid Thinking you don’t have to work on your character
It’s sad today that our young sisters fail to work on their characters to be a man’s dream. Stop saying a man who’s yours has to accept you the way you are. No! No one is ready to marry a mannerless girl without respect, ability to cook, etc
You need to keep working on your character, improving in your cooking skills and be a wife material. Do you know why some men in your neighborhood go elsewhere to search for their wives with many beautiful young ladies around? Because those ladies maybe beautiful but lack the qualities of a wife.
I was shocked when a non-Muslim guy told me that he loves dating Muslim girls because they’re easy to get as long as there will be no pregnancy and that they are very obedience to your demand… I happened to witness in many cases where young Muslim girls sneak out of the house especially at night walking like an angel only to go meet a boyfriend far away. Sincere brothers who see such can’t hardly come for you in marriage. Work on your character if you want a good Marital home tomorrow.
You need to work on your character if you want to be a good wife. Stop being a green snake in a green grass that when you’re among people who know you, you behave like an angel and when you go far, even the hijab you don’t wear.
There’s no one who’s perfect but don’t let your imperfect side be on major sins like zina etc.