It has become widely popular among the general public that getting married in the month of Muharram is not permissible. Instead, it is believed that a marriage in this month is a cause of misfortune and calamities.
Because the martyrdom of Hazrat Husayn (may Allah be pleased with him) occurred in this month, his martyrdom is mourned and commemorated annually. It is not considered appropriate to express happiness in a state of mourning. This is why the concept of not marrying in Muharram is common among a specific segment of Muslims. Here, we will examine the Shari’ah status of mourning a martyrdom or death in Islam. Knowing the answer to this question will clarify the Shari’ah ruling on marrying in Muharram.
There is no human being who will not face death. Every soul shall taste death. From Adam (peace be upon him) until today, this universe has witnessed life and death. There is likely no day in the year on which someone has not died. If it were permissible to mourn someone’s death, there would be an atmosphere of mourning throughout the year. Man would never be able to see happiness.
It is narrated from Muhammad ibn Sirin that:
تُوفِّيَ ابنٌ لأمِّ عطيةَ رَضِيَ اللهُ عنها ، فلمَّا كان اليومُ الثالثُ ، دعت بصُفْرَةٍ فتمسحتْ بهِ ، وقالت : نُهِينا أن نُحِدَّ أكثرَ من ثلاثٍ إلَّا بزوجٍ .(صحيح البخاري:1297)
Translation: A son of Umm Atiyyah (may Allah be pleased with her) passed away. On the third day after the death, she asked for a yellow perfume (Sufrah) and applied it to her body, and said: We have been forbidden to mourn for more than three days for anyone except a husband. (Sahih al-Bukhari: 1297)
This narration from Sahih al-Bukhari mentions mourning (soag), stating that if a relative of someone passes away, they should mourn for three days, and no more. This mourning is also to be observed only at the time of death; observing it every year is considered a religious innovation (bid’ah). This hadith also mentions that the female companion, Umm Atiyyah (may Allah be pleased with her), whose son had passed away, used perfume on the third day so that people would know that the period of mourning was over. If someone’s relative passes away in the month of Muharram, they should mourn for only three days in Muharram, and there is no mourning for the remaining days.
There is a difference between mourning (soag) and lamentation/wailing (maatam/noha). Mourning is permissible for three days for a general relative and for four months and ten days for a wife for her deceased husband. However, lamentation and wailing are not permissible at any time, whether it is a death or a martyrdom.
It is narrated from Abdullah ibn Mas’ud (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (ﷺ) said:
ليس مِنَّا من ضربَ الخدودَ ، وشَقَّ الجيوبَ ، ودعا بدَعْوَى الجاهليَّةِ .(صحيح البخاري:1297)
Translation: He who slaps his cheeks, tears his clothes, and calls with the call of the Jahiliyyah (pre-Islamic period of ignorance) is not one of us. (Sahih al-Bukhari: 1297)
The martyrdom of Husayn (may Allah be pleased with him) occurred more than a thousand years ago, in the year 61 AH. Grieving this martyrdom year after year is an innovation (bid’ah).
As I mentioned above, there is no day of the year in which someone has not died. It is difficult to list them by day, so I will mention the deaths and martyrdoms of a few high-ranking personalities by month.
The above list of months of passing shows that if mourning for death or martyrdom were declared permissible, let alone marriage, a person would never be able to see happiness. It is proven from authentic hadith that Islam has designated two days annually for the expression of happiness in the form of Eid. Friday is also one of the days of Eid, which comes every week. Great personalities have also passed away and been martyred on these days of Eid. So, should we abandon happiness and mourn on the day of Eid as well? If we were to designate this annually, the very concept of Eid would be erased from Islamic history.
The religion that Allah has given us also provides us with the opportunity to enjoy life with moderation and balance, while remaining within the limits of Shari’ah.
Now let’s see, did the pious predecessors (Salaf) not marry in this month?
In reality, marrying in any month is not forbidden. If it were forbidden to marry in any month, the Prophet (ﷺ) would have surely guided us, but there is no evidence of prohibition from him (ﷺ). People have always been marrying in this month. The misunderstanding arose after the event of Karbala when the Shia, due to their disposition, spread the concept of lamenting, mourning, refraining from expressing happiness, and avoiding marriage in this month. If marriage can be forbidden in Muharram because of Karbala, then no one could get married from Safar to Dhu al-Hijjah either, because great people have also passed away and been martyred in those months.
Although there is some disagreement, according to Tarikh al-Tabari and Tarikh Ibn Asakir, the marriage of Hazrat Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) to Fatimah (may Allah be pleased with her) took place in this very month. Besides them, many other marriages have taken place and will continue to take place until the Day of Judgment.
In the light of the Qur’an and Hadith, Muharram is one of the four sacred months in which one must avoid discord and corruption and perform righteous deeds. Especially in this month, there is a great reward for fasting. These points imply that lamentation and mourning are completely contrary to the sanctity and sacredness of this month.
An Important Point:
Allah Almighty says:
{ وَلاَ تَقُولُواْ لِمَنْ يُقْتَلُ فِي سَبيلِ اللّهِ أَمْوَاتٌ بَلْ أَحْيَاء وَلَكِن لاَّ تَشْعُرُونَ } (سورة البقرة :154).
Translation: And do not say about those who are killed in the way of Allah, "They are dead." Rather, they are alive, but you perceive [it] not. (Surah Al-Baqarah: 154).
From this verse of the Qur’an, the Barelwis deduce that a martyr does not die; they are alive like in worldly life. In fact, their general belief about all the deceased is that they hear everything, respond, and help people. We, the Ahl al-Hadith, have been explaining to them for centuries that everyone has to depart from this world, meaning everyone has to die. Those who die from here receive the life of Barzakh (the intermediate state), not worldly life, about which we have no perception.
It is astonishing to see the Barelvis with their corrupt creed; on one hand, they consider the deceased and the martyr to be alive just like in the world, and on the other hand, they also mourn them. What is the real matter?
Upon reflection, it appears that the entire issue is about making money. If the deceased are declared as dead, then who will come to the shrines, and from where will the offerings and fees for their fraudulent businesses come?
Let’s see what the founder of the Barelvi school of thought says about marriage in this month.
Issue: What do you say regarding the following matters?
(1) Some Ahlus Sunnah wal Jama’ah neither cook bread all day nor sweep their houses during the first ten days of Muharram. They say bread will be cooked after the burial rituals.
(2) They do not change their clothes during these ten days.
(3) They do not hold any weddings in the month of Muharram.
The Answer: All three matters are forbidden mourning (soag). (From Ahkam-e-Shariat)
The summary of all this is that it is permissible to marry in Muharram, and to derive bad omens from a marriage in this month is a sign of weak faith. We Muslims should be content with the religion and commandments of Allah and should live our lives in perfect accordance with Islamic teachings.
🖋️ Shaykh Maqbool Ahmad Salafi (Hafizahullah)
(Jeddah Da’wah Center, Hayy as-Salamah — Saudi Arabia)
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