Why You Should Keep Your Secrets to Yourself: A Prophetic Perspective
Most people are unable to keep a secret. When the secret they have exposed to others becomes widespread, they blame those whom they told the secret to. This is strange. They were unable to keep the secret to themselves, yet blame others for not keeping it as well.
A Prophetic tradition says: “Seek secrecy when achieving your goals.” [Ibn Hibban in Rawdah al-‘Uqala]
Keeping a secret is difficult and telling it to others brings comfort, especially if the secret entails an illness, a worry or being in love. Yet it is important for a deceiver to keep his attempts of deception a secret. If such a secret is exposed, then the entire deception scheme falls apart and this is not excusable.
Whenever the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) used to plan a trip, he used to pretend to be going in a different direction. [Bukhari and Muslim]
If someone says, ‘I only talk to trustworthy people.’ Then we tell him, ‘Every matter that becomes known to more than two people is no longer a secret.’
Perhaps your trustworthy friend does not hold secrets well; a person with strong discipline never conveys a secret to others.
It is a sign of weakness to convey a secret to one’s wife or children. The amount of wealth you have should be considered a secret, for telling others about it may result in them wishing bad for you, or blaming you for how little the wealth is.
Calamities ought to be concealed as secrets, because discussing them will please the enemy and displease loved ones.
A person ought to keep his age a secret also, because if he is too elderly others will consider him too old for many things, and if he is too young then others will treat him like an adolescent for many things.
Many people were careless in talking negatively about a leader and this lead them to their (detention and) demise.
It was said (poetry): Beware of your enemy once, but beware of your friend a thousand times, A friend may turn into an enemy; and he will know how to harm you best.
Some people might reveal a secret to a wife or a friend and become hostage to them because of this. He becomes unable to divorce his wife or to abandon his friend fearing that they do not reveal his secret to others.
[Culled from Ibn al-Jawzee’s Captured Thoughts, page 580-581]
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