Addressing Hypocrisy and Backbiting: Guidance on How to Handle Gossip

Handling Gossip and Hypocrisy: Guidance for Dealing with Backbiting

Question: An aunt who lives with me speaks ill of others when she is with me and speaks ill of me when she is with others. She tries to appear good while creating hatred and animosity between people. Is this not hypocrisy?

Answer: If the aunt speaks ill of others in your presence and you listen to her gossip in silence, you are also participating in her sin because you are hearing the backbiting. In such a case, it is your duty to admonish the woman who engages in backbiting, and if you cannot stop her from speaking, then at least do not allow her to speak ill of others in your presence. Advise her to refrain from backbiting in any situation.

Hypocrisy is a grave sin, but before reaching that stage, speaking ill of someone behind their back (backbiting) is already a serious sin that is not permissible in Islam. Just as it is not permissible to engage in backbiting, it is also not permissible to listen to others’ backbiting.

Why do some women engage in backbiting? Because the listener, especially many women, might find pleasure in hearing it. When we do not listen to backbiting, others will not come to us to engage in it. Therefore, avoid both engaging in and listening to backbiting. If you see a woman engaged in backbiting, advise her towards better conduct. If it is meant for her to be guided, she will amend her ways.

✍ Sheikh Maqbool Ahmed Salafi (Hafizahullaah)

Jeddah Dawah Center – As-Salamah – Kingdom of Saudi Arabia