In society, among the ignorant, a belief is practiced with great emphasis that a stranger should not touch the bier (janaza), nor lift it onto their shoulders, and that only a woman’s mahram (unmarriageable kin) should lower her into the grave. This issue is merely a self-fabricated notion famous among the ignorant and has no connection to the religion of Muhammad (ﷺ).
Whether it is a man or a woman, it is their right that people walk with their funeral procession and give their shoulder to the bier. And it should be remembered that according to Shari’ah, men walk with funerals while women are forbidden from doing so. As stated by Hazrat Umm Atiyyah (may Allah be pleased with her):
حَدَّثَنَا قَبِيصَةُ بْنُ عُقْبَةَ ، حَدَّثَنَا سُفْيَانُ ، عَنْ خَالِدٍ الْحَذَّاءِ ، عَنْ أُمِّ الْهُذَيْلِ ، عَنْ أُمِّ عَطِيَّةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا , قَالَتْ : نُهِينَا عَنْ إتباع الجنائز وَلَمْ يُعْزَمْ عَلَيْنَا .
We (women) were forbidden from following the funeral procession, but it was not strictly forbidden for us.
(Sahih al-Bukhari / Chapter: Al-Jana’iz / How is it for women to go with the funerals / Hadith No: 1278)
In another narration, it is reported from Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) that he heard the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) say:
“A Muslim has five rights over another Muslim: to return the greeting, to visit the sick, to follow the funeral procession, to accept an invitation, and to respond to one who sneezes.”
(Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawood)
Similarly, it is narrated from Abu Sa’id al-Khudri (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
“Visit the sick and follow the funeral processions; this will remind you of the Hereafter.”
(Musnad Abi Ya’la, Musnad Ahmad, Bayhaqi)
According to these hadiths, the distinction between a mahram and a non-mahram for giving a shoulder to a woman’s bier is not established. Furthermore, it is not proven by any legal text from the Qur’an and Sunnah that only a woman’s mahram should give a shoulder to her bier or that a non-mahram cannot. Rather, any Muslim man can give a shoulder to the deceased, whether male or female.
Therefore, there is no proof for the condition of a mahram to lift, carry, and lower the deceased into the grave. Imam Bukhari (may Allah have mercy on him) has also explained in his book Sahih al-Bukhari, in the chapter “Bab Haml al-Rijal al-Janazah duna al-Nisa” (Chapter: Men carrying the bier, not women), that carrying the bier is the work of men, not women.
(Sahih al-Bukhari, Al-Jana’iz, Chapter No. 50)
This position is further clarified by the fact that a non-mahram man can lower a woman’s body into the grave, as stated by Hazrat Anas (may Allah be pleased with him):
We were present at the funeral of a daughter of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him). He (ﷺ) was sitting by the grave, and I saw his eyes shedding tears. He (ﷺ) said: “Is there any man among you who has not had sexual relations with his wife tonight?” Hazrat Abu Talha (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “O Messenger of Allah (ﷺ), I am he.” He said: “Then you get down into her grave.” So, Hazrat Abu Talha (may Allah be pleased with him) descended into the grave and laid her in the niche (lahd).
(Sahih al-Bukhari / Al-Jana’iz / Hadith No: 1342)
This proves that when a non-mahram can lower a woman’s body into the grave, it is all the more permissible for a non-mahram man to give his shoulder to her bier.
وَبِاللّٰہِ التَّوْفِیْقُ
ھٰذٙا مٙا عِنْدِی وٙاللہُ تٙعٙالیٰ اٙعْلٙمْ بِالصّٙوٙاب
Written by: Mrs. Ansari
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