Understanding the Do’s and Don’ts of Intimacy in Islam
SEX WHILST STANDING:
The book “Tibbe Nabawi” has mentioned that by indulging in sex whilst standing, the body becomes weak. Books of Greek medicine have also mentioned that one can be affected by “shivering sickness” if he or she engages in sex whilst standing. Thus, though it is permissible one should take note of what the experts have said.
SEX DURING PAIN OR SICKNESS:
Umm Salamah R.A says that whenever one of the Prophet’s wives eyes used to be sore, he did not engage in sexual acts with them until they were cured. From this we learn that whenever one’s wife is in any sort of pain or illness it is not advisable to engage in sex. One should rather consider the illness and refrain from sex until she recovers.
TIMING OF SEX:
Aishah R.A says that the Prophet (peace be upon him) used to sleep after Isha up to midnight. Thereafter he would read Tahajjud and Witr. Then he would come into bed. If he desired he would engage in sex with his wife and take a bath after Athaan of Fajar. if not, _ he would make wudu and go for Fajar Salaah.( Bukhari 1: 154)
Doctors also admit that the best or most suitable time for sex is the last portion of the night. It is a time in which one would feel fresh and strong. However this is all from a health aspect.
In the Shariah there is no “fixed” time for sex. There are in fact several narrations that prove that the Prophet (peace be upon him) also engaged in sex during the first part of the night and in various parts of the day as well.
Some scholars have said that if a person ignores his Salaah and engages in sex, allowing the time of Salaah to be expired then the child conceived may be disobedient. Shamaail Tirmithi 155, Deeni Dastarkhan
LOOKING AT PRIVATE PARTS
Though according to the laws of the Shariah it is not prohibited to look at the private parts of one’s partner, just as it is not prohibited to look at any part of one’s spouse’s body, some doctors have mentioned that by doing so, one may suffer weakness of eye sight or might even have blind children. (Ai Jaami us Sagheer) Others say that the real reason is that it may cause loss of interest in sexual intercourse in future.