Understanding the Rulings and Rights of Widows in Islam
A widow is a woman whose husband has passed away. The death of her husband is a very testing time for her. On one hand, she has already left her parents’ house, meaning she is no longer under their financial support and has moved into her husband’s care. On the other hand, she faces the loneliness of life, the nurturing and upbringing of children, and the financial burdens of household expenses. During such a challenging time, women who are patient and bear the difficulty with fortitude are rewarded by Allah. In Sahih al-Bukhari, there is a mention of a woman crying at the death of a close relative, and in Sahih Muslim, it mentions crying over the death of a child. Hazrat Anas bin Malik (RA) narrates:
مرَّ النبيُّ صلَّى اللهُ عليهِ وسلَّمَ بامرأةٍ تبكي عند قبرٍ ، فقال : اتَّقي اللهَ واصبري قالت : إليكَ عَنِّي ، فإنكَ لم تُصَبْ بمصيبتي ، ولم تعرفْهُ ، فقيل لها : إنَّهُ النبيُّ صلَّى اللهُ عليهِ وسلَّمَ ، فأتت باب النبيِّ صلَّى اللهُ عليهِ وسلَّمَ ، فلم تجد عندَهْ بوَّابِينَ ، فقالت : لم أعرفْكَ ، فقال : إنما الصبرُ عند الصدمةِ الأولى . (صحيح البخاري:1283)
Translation: The Prophet (PBUH) passed by a woman crying at a grave. He said, “Fear Allah and be patient.” She replied, “Go away, you haven’t been afflicted with my loss, and you don’t know him.” Then, when she was told that it was the Prophet (PBUH), she hurried to his door but found no doormen. She then said, “I did not recognize you.” The Prophet (PBUH) replied, “Patience is required at the first shock.”
What is destined by Allah will inevitably occur, and no one can prevent it. A believer must have faith in both good and bad fate and be patient during trials and difficulties. From the above hadith, we learn that patience should be shown at the moment of the calamity, not afterward. It is acceptable to shed tears or cry involuntarily at the time of death or when faced with calamity. However, excessive wailing, continuous crying, lamenting, uttering inappropriate words, or doing inappropriate actions can cause the reward for patience to be lost. The widow of the deceased, or any of her relatives, are prohibited from excessive lamentation near the deceased. Instead of wailing, one should pray for the deceased. When the family of Abu Salamah (RA) began to cry out loudly at his passing, the Prophet (PBUH) said:
لا تَدعوا علَى أنفسِكُم إلَّا بِخيرٍ ، فإنَّ الملائِكَةَ يؤمِّنونَ على ما تَقولون ثمَّ قالَ : اللَّهمَّ اغفِر لأبي سلَمةَ وارفع درجتَهُ في المَهْديِّينَ ، واخلُفهُ في عقبِهِ في الغابِرينَ ، واغفِر لَنا ولَهُ ربَّ العالمينَ ، اللَّهمَّ افسِح لَهُ في قبرِهِ ، ونوِّر لَهُ فيهِ (صحيح أبي داود:3118)
Translation: Do not make supplications for yourselves except good ones, because the angels say “Ameen” to what you say. Then the Prophet (PBUH) made the following prayer: “O Allah! Forgive Abu Salamah, elevate his rank among the rightly-guided, make him a successor in his offspring, forgive us and him, O Lord of the worlds! O Allah, expand his grave and illuminate it.”
Similarly, at the time of calamity, the following prayer should be recited. Abu Salamah (RA) narrated that the Prophet (PBUH) said:
إذا أصابَ أحدَكم مصيبةٌ فليقل إنَّا للَّهِ وإنَّا إليهِ راجعونَ اللَّهمَّ عندَك أحتسبتُ مصيبتي فأجرني فيها وأبدلني منها خيرًا (صحيح الترمذي:3511)
Translation: When any of you faces a calamity, say: “Indeed, we belong to Allah, and indeed, to Him we return. O Allah! I have placed my calamity in Your hands, so reward me for it and replace it with something better.”
At such times, it is the responsibility of other members of society to console the widow and offer their condolences. Furthermore, if there are poor or helpless widows in society, it is the duty of responsible members to look after them and make arrangements for the education and upbringing of their children.
In the following sections, we will discuss the rulings and issues related to widows in Islam, so that we are informed about the guidance Islam provides in this regard. We will address these under various topics.
First Issue:
The first issue concerning a widow is related to her waiting period (iddah), and there are several important points to note.
- A widow must observe an iddah period of four months and ten days after her husband’s death. Allah’s command is:
وَالَّذِينَ يُتَوَفَّوْنَ مِنكُمْ وَيَذَرُونَ أَزْوَاجًا يَتَرَبَّصْنَ بِأَنفُسِهِنَّ أَرْبَعَةَ أَشْهُرٍ وَعَشْرًا (البقرة: 234)
Translation: “And those of you who die and leave wives behind, they (the wives) shall wait, keeping themselves in waiting for four months and ten days.”
This iddah of four months and ten days (approximately 130 days) applies to all widows, whether they are of young or old age, menstruating or non-menstruating, or whether they were married or not. However, if the widow is pregnant, her iddah will end when she delivers the child, as Allah says:
وَأُولَاتُ الْأَحْمَالِ أَجَلُهُنَّ أَن يَضَعْنَ حَمْلَهُنَّ (الطلاق:4)
Translation: “And the women who are pregnant, their term is when they give birth to their child.”
- The starting point of the iddah is from the day the husband passed away. If a widow receives the news of her husband’s death with a delay of some days, her iddah will still be considered from the actual date of the husband’s death. Any days passed in ignorance will still be counted as part of the iddah, and the widow is excused if she used adornments or went outside unknowingly during this period.
- An important issue is where the widow should observe her iddah. The answer is that the widow must observe her iddah at the place where her husband passed away. The Prophet (PBUH) said:
امْكُثي في بيتِكِ الَّذي جاءَ فيهِ نعيُ زوجِكِ حتَّى يبلغَ الْكتابُ أجلَهُ (صحيح ابن ماجه:1664)
Translation: “Stay in your home where you were informed of your husband’s death until the term decreed by Allah is completed.”
- If the husband had given a revocable divorce (i.e., the first or second divorce), and during the iddah period, the husband passes away, the woman must observe an iddah of four months and ten days. However, if the husband had given the third divorce or the iddah period from a revocable divorce had ended before his death, she does not need to observe the iddah of widowhood, as she is no longer in marital relations with him.
- Traveling during the iddah is prohibited. Whether it is for Hajj, Umrah, leisure, or unnecessary travel (leaving the house), all of this is not allowed for the widow during the iddah. However, she is allowed to travel if there is a necessity. For example, if staying in her husband’s house for the iddah becomes unsafe, or if another house is safer, she may move to a safer place. She can also go out to buy essential items if there is no one to bring them to her. If she falls ill, she is allowed to leave for medical treatment. Thus, travel during iddah is permissible for necessity. Furthermore, if a woman is traveling and she is still nearby when she receives the news of her husband’s death, she should return and complete her iddah in her husband’s house. However, if the travel is necessary and she is near her destination, such as for Hajj or Umrah, she may complete her pilgrimage.
Second Issue:
While a widow must observe the four months and ten days of iddah, she is also instructed to mourn during this period. The Prophet (PBUH) said:
لا يحلُّ لامرأةٍ تؤمنُ باللهِ واليومِ الآخرِ أنْ تحدَّ على ميِّتٍ فوقَ ثلاثِ ليالٍ، إلَّا على زوجٍ أربعةَ أشهُرٍ وعشرًا (صحيح البخاري:5334)
Translation: “It is not lawful for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to mourn over a deceased person for more than three days, except for her husband, for four months and ten days.”
Now, we need to understand what the proper Islamic way of mourning is. During the mourning period, the widow is prohibited from using adornments and beautifying herself. She must avoid using perfume or kohl, as narrated by Umm Atiyyah (RA) from the Prophet (PBUH):
كنا نُنْهَى أن نُحِدَّ على مَيِّتٍ فوق ثلاثٍ، إلا على زوجٍ أربعةَ أشهرٍ وعَشْرًا، ولا نَكْتَحِلَ، ولا نتطيبَ، ولا نلبَسَ ثوبًا مَصْبوغًا إلا ثَوْبَ عَصْبٍ، وقد رُخِّصَ لنا عند الطُّهْرِ، إذا اغتسلَتْ إحدانا من مَحِيضِها، في نُبْذَةٍ مِن كُسْتِ أظفارٍ، وكنا نُنْهَى عن اتباعِ الجنائزِ. (صحيح البخاري:313)
Translation: “We were prohibited from mourning for a deceased person for more than three days, except for our husband, for four months and ten days. During this time, we neither used kohl nor perfume, nor wore colored clothes except for a cloth of ‘Asb’ (a type of cloth). We were permitted, after purifying ourselves from menstruation, to use a small amount of perfume from the ‘Kust of the nails.’ We were also prohibited from following funerals.”
Based on this hadith, during the iddah period, a widow will not use colored and sparkling clothes, silk, saffron-colored clothing, or adornments like earrings, nose rings, anklets, bracelets, necklaces, rings, bangles, creams, powders, perfumes, oils, kohl, or henna. However, after menstruation, she may use a small amount of incense or kohl for medicinal purposes, but only at night.
In summary, mourning requires the woman to show signs of grief, which is why using adornments is prohibited. She is not restricted to wearing only white clothes, but any simple, non-beautiful clothing is acceptable. She is allowed to perform necessary tasks like cooking, fetching water, cleaning, bathing, and doing other household chores. There is no harm if she works, provided she avoids adornment. She may even work if necessary, as long as she does not engage in beautification. Unnecessary activities such as chatting, laughing, leaving the house (unless absolutely necessary), and using television, radio, newspapers, and mobile phones for entertainment are prohibited. During her free time, reading the Quran, engaging in remembrance (dhikr), supplication, seeking forgiveness, and studying books of hadith and biography are recommended.
Third Issue:
Once a widow completes her iddah, meaning she has finished the 130 days, she is free to marry any righteous man of her choice. This marriage will protect her from loneliness, help preserve her chastity, and resolve financial issues. It is a mistaken belief in society that women with children should not remarry, which is entirely wrong. I also address men whose wives have passed away, encouraging them to marry a widow and improve both their lives. It is not necessary for only married men to marry a widow; unmarried men can also marry her. The first marriage of the Prophet (PBUH) was to Khadijah (RA), who was a widow while the Prophet (PBUH) was unmarried. He married several other widows as well.
It is important to note that a second marriage can only happen after the iddah period. Marriage or proposals during the iddah are both incorrect. Also, whether the woman is a virgin or a widow, she must have the permission of her guardian (wali).
As mentioned by Sheikh al-Albani (RA) in Sahih Ibn Majah (1537), “There is no marriage except with a guardian.” Similarly, in Sahih Abu Dawood (number 2083), the Prophet (PBUH) said, “Any woman who marries without the permission of her guardian, her marriage is invalid,” and this was repeated three times.
Fourth Issue:
After the husband’s death, his property will be distributed among his heirs. The widow is also one of the heirs. If the widow has children, she will receive one-eighth of the total property, but if there are no children, she will be entitled to one-quarter of the property. If the deceased has more than one wife, then the share of one-eighth or one-quarter will be equally divided among them. The widow will also inherit if she was only married to the husband but there was no consummation, and similarly, a divorced woman (reconciled) is also entitled to inherit.
Fifth Issue:
There are many misconceptions regarding widows, and their clarification is provided here.
(1) One common misconception among women is that a widow must wear white clothes. Based on this belief, many widows who do not remarry wear white clothes until their death. However, this belief is incorrect. A widow may wear any simple clothes, whether black, green, or blue, during her Iddah.
(2) It is also wrongly believed that a widow should not talk to men or make contact via mobile phones or telephone. This is also incorrect; she may talk as needed, but only when necessary.
(3) It is wrongly considered inappropriate for a widow to walk around the house without slippers, or to go out on a moonlit night, or to bathe more than once a week. The correct view is that a widow can walk barefoot or go out in her yard or on the roof during the moonlit night. She can bathe as many times as needed. When bathing, she should use soap without fragrance.
(4) After completing the Iddah, some people believe that there is a specific way to do so, such as mandatory bathing, using fragrance, or showing adornment. These practices are not part of Islam. There is no specific method prescribed for completing the Iddah, nor is it necessary for a widow to adorn herself for others’ knowledge.
(5) Viewing a widow with contempt or taking some kind of misfortune from her husband’s death is a sign of ignorance and a lack of faith.
(6) Marriage to a widow, or a widow’s remarriage, is often seen negatively by the ignorant. In reality, marriage is a means of tranquility, chastity, blessings, sustenance, and protection from immorality.
(7) A widespread and dreadful misconception among people is that the marriage is dissolved with the husband’s death, and therefore the wife becomes a stranger to him. Consequently, it is believed that the wife cannot touch him, see him, or wash him. These notions are entirely incorrect. There is no evidence that the marriage is broken after death, nor are the spouses strangers to each other. After the husband’s death, the wife can still see him, touch him, and wash him.
These are the brief rulings regarding widows. It is important to share this knowledge with others so that the religious rulings concerning widows are widely known, and people can avoid ignorance.
By Maqbool Ahmad Salafi
Islamic Da’wah Center, Northern Taif (Misrah)
