What Does Islam Say About Friendship? New

Introduction to Friendship in Islam

1. Introduction: The Sacred Bond of Friendship in Islam

The universal human inclination towards companionship finds profound elevation within Islamic teachings. Friendship in Islam transcends mere social interaction, evolving into a sacred bond with significant implications for an individual’s faith and ultimate destiny. This article explores the principles of friendship as guided by the Quran and the Sunnah (the teachings and practices of Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him), adhering to the methodology of the Salaf (the early generations of Muslims).

Choosing companions wisely is presented as a divine directive, forming a cornerstone of a believer’s life and serving as a pathway to spiritual growth and success in the Hereafter. The importance of friendship and companionship is deeply embedded in Islamic teachings, embodying values that extend beyond fleeting social connections.1 As the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) stated, “A person’s character is shaped by their companions, so let each of you carefully consider those with whom you associate”.1 This emphasizes the profound influence friends exert on one’s character and spiritual journey.

The emphasis on adherence to the Quran, Sunnah, and the methodology of the Salaf consistently links worldly actions to their spiritual and eternal consequences. Various Islamic sources highlight the impact of companionship on one’s Deen (religion) and Akhirah (Hereafter), frequently using phrases such as “benefits us in the world and likewise in the hereafter”.2 The warning that “friends on that Day will be enemies… except the righteous” ² underscores the eternal ramifications of one’s chosen company. The Hadith, “A person is upon the religion of his best friend” ¹, directly connects an individual’s faith to their companions. Therefore, the selection of friends is not merely a social preference but a critical spiritual decision, an investment that yields either eternal reward or profound regret. This perspective elevates the topic beyond a lifestyle discussion to a matter of fundamental religious practice and spiritual well-being.

2. Foundations of Friendship in the Quran

The Quran, as the divine word of Allah, lays down fundamental principles for how believers should approach friendships. These principles emphasize discernment, mutual support, and the ultimate accountability of companionship in the sight of Allah.

2.1. Choosing Righteous Companions: A Divine Command

Allah explicitly commands believers to associate with those who are sincerely devoted to Him, irrespective of their worldly standing. This divine directive is powerfully articulated in Surah Al-Kahf: “And keep yourself patiently with those who call on their Lord morning and afternoon, seeking His Face. And let not your eyes overlook them, desiring the pomp and glitter of the life of the world”.³

The context of this verse provides crucial understanding. It was revealed when certain nobles from the Quraysh, seeking to engage with Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), requested that he dismiss his poorer companions, such as Bilal, Ammar, Suhayb, Khabbab, and Ibn Mas’ud.¹⁰ Allah’s direct prohibition against this request highlighted that the true criteria for companionship in Islam are spiritual devotion and sincerity in seeking Allah’s pleasure, rather than social standing, wealth, or worldly influence. This message presents a counter-cultural perspective, particularly in societies that often prioritize connections based on material gain or social advancement. The divine command thus redefines what constitutes truly valuable companionship.

2.2. Avoiding Harmful Associations: A Warning for the Hereafter

The Quran issues strong warnings against forming close friendships with those who harbor ill will or whose influence might lead one astray from the straight path. Surah Al-Imran cautions: “O you who have believed, do not take as intimates those other than yourselves, for they will not spare you [any] ruin. They wish you would have hardship. Hatred has already appeared from their mouths, and what their breasts conceal is greater. We have certainly made clear to you the signs, if you will use reason”.³ This verse advises against those who are not “of your kind,” meaning those who are not believers or who secretly oppose Islam. Such individuals, despite outward friendliness, may seek to corrupt one’s mind and cause distress, as their hidden enmity is often far greater than what is apparent.¹²

The eternal consequences of choosing harmful friends are vividly depicted in Surah Al-Furqan: “And [warn them of] the Day when the wrongdoer will bite on his hands [in regret] and say, ‘Oh, I wish I had taken with the Messenger a way. Oh, woe to me! I wish I had not taken that one as a friend. He led me away from the message after it had come to me, and ever is Satan, to man, a deserter'”.³ This powerful imagery portrays the intense regret experienced on the Day of Judgment by those who chose friends who diverted them from divine guidance. The Quran thus establishes a clear causal link between worldly companionship and eternal regret: befriending those with ill intent, even if concealed, can lead to deviation from the straight path, which in turn results in profound sorrow in the Hereafter. The divine text not only warns but also illustrates the mechanism of spiritual harm.

2.3. The Concept of Brotherhood/Sisterhood for Allah’s Sake (Al-Ukhuwwah)

At the heart of Islamic friendship is the concept of Al-Ukhuwwah, a bond of mutual support, alliance, and love purely for the sake of Allah, transcending worldly motives. Surah At-Tawbah describes this ideal relationship: “The believing men and believing women are allies of one another. They enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and establish prayer and give zakah and obey Allah and His Messenger. Those – Allah will have mercy upon them. Indeed, Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise”.³ This verse defines the ideal relationship among believers as one of mutual support (awliya’) in upholding righteousness, discouraging evil, and fulfilling the pillars of Islam. This alliance is presented as a source of divine mercy.¹⁶

The enduring nature of such bonds is highlighted in Surah Az-Zukhruf: “Close friends, that Day, will be enemies to each other, except for the righteous”.² This verse powerfully illustrates that only friendships built on righteousness (Taqwa) will withstand the scrutiny of the Day of Judgment, while other friendships, based on worldly desires, will dissolve into enmity.¹⁸ This concept ofUkhuwwah extends beyond individual relationships to form the bedrock of a righteous community. When believers are described as “allies of one another” who “enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong” ³, it signifies not just personal support but collective action for the betterment of society. Islamic sources on brotherhood further elaborate onUkhuwwah as a “source of peace, tranquility, and happiness” 20 and a means to “eliminate hatred, jealousy and rivalry” within society.21 The historical example of the Ansar (Helpers) and Muhajirun (Immigrants) in early Islam exemplifies Ukhuwwah as a foundational principle for building a cohesive and supportive Islamic society.20 Therefore, the quality of friendships directly impacts the health and strength of the broader Muslim community.

Table 1: Key Quranic Verses on Friendship

Table 2:  Hadiths on Friendship

The Sunnah, comprising the Prophet Muhammad’s (peace be upon him) sayings and actions, provides practical insights into friendship. Several authentic Hadiths illustrate the importance of choosing companions wisely.

3. Prophetic Guidance on Friendship: Lessons from the Sunnah

The Sunnah, encompassing the words, actions, and approvals of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), provides practical guidance and vivid parables that further illuminate the principles of friendship established in the Quran.

3.1. “A Man is Upon the Religion of His Friend”: The Profound Influence of Companionship

A core principle in Islamic teachings on friendship is the profound influence companions have on an individual’s character, beliefs, and actions. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) stated, “A man is upon the religion of his best friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends”.¹ This Hadith serves as a powerful warning and a practical guide. It conveys that friends are not merely companions but active shapers of one’s Deen (religious practice and belief), necessitating careful and conscious selection of one’s inner circle.¹

The Hadith’s phrasing, particularly “so let one of you look at whom he befriends” ⁴, transforms it from a mere observation into an imperative. This places the responsibility squarely on the individual to be proactive and discerning in forming friendships, rather than passively accepting anyone who comes along. It functions as a spiritual safeguard, emphasizing that one must actively choose their influences. The understanding that “the temperament of a human being is that he steals from others in character”

2 further reinforces this, highlighting the subtle, often unconscious, adoption of habits and morals from close companions. This means that the choice of friends is a deliberate act of spiritual self-preservation.

3.2. The Analogy of the Musk Seller and the Blacksmith: Understanding Good vs. Bad Company

To vividly illustrate the tangible benefits of good company and the inevitable harm of bad company, whether direct or indirect, the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) provided a profound parable: “The example of a good companion and a bad companion is like that of a musk seller and a blacksmith. The musk seller may either gift you some perfume, you may buy some from him, or at the very least, you will enjoy a pleasant fragrance from him. As for the blacksmith, he may either burn your clothes, or at the very least, you will get a foul smell from him”.²

This analogy clearly delineates the impact of different types of companionship:

• Good Companion (Musk Seller): Represents a positive influence. Even if one does not receive a direct gift or make a purchase, simply being in the presence of a musk seller yields a pleasant fragrance.4 This symbolizes the inherent good character, positive atmosphere, and gentle reminders of Allah that a righteous companion brings.
• Bad Companion (Blacksmith): Represents a negative influence. One might experience direct harm, such as scorched clothes from sparks, or at the very least, an unpleasant odor.4 This illustrates the negative actions, undesirable habits, and potential spiritual decay that can result from associating with unrighteous companions.

The power of this analogy lies in its emphasis on the inescapable nature of influence. The phrases “may either gift you” or “may burn your clothes,” followed by “at the very least,” demonstrate that influence from companions is not always overt or intentional. Even passive association or mere proximity to a companion will inevitably have an effect on one’s character. This highlights that neutrality in the choice of friends is not possible; simply being around certain individuals will subtly, yet surely, shape one’s moral and spiritual disposition, whether positively or negatively.

3.3. Key Qualities of a True Muslim Friend

Islamic friendships are fundamentally built upon a foundation of shared faith and virtues that foster spiritual growth and mutual support. Several key qualities define a true Muslim friend:

• Loyalty (Wafa): A true friend remains steadfast and reliable, standing by one’s side through all circumstances, especially during difficult times. “A loyal friend is a treasure hard to find”.8 This loyalty, when for Allah’s sake, extends to assisting Allah’s Deen and those obedient to Him.9
• Honesty (Sidq): A good friend is expected to always speak the truth, but with kindness and sincerity. “Honesty brings people closer together” 8, indicating that truthfulness strengthens the bonds between friends and fosters deeper connection.
• Trustworthiness (Amanah): This is vital for any friendship to flourish. It involves being able to confide in someone without fear of judgment or betrayal, creating a safe and secure space within the relationship. “Trust builds bridges between hearts”.8 This includes safeguarding a friend’s secrets and protecting their reputation, as reinforced by the saying of Ibn Abbas: “Whoever conceals [the faults] of a Muslim will find Allah concealing him on the Day of Resurrection”.8
• Mutual Support & Sincere Advice (Nasiha): True friends encourage good deeds, remind each other of religious duties, and advise against wrongdoing. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “The believer to another believer is like a building whose different parts enforce each other”.1 This emphasizes how friends strengthen each other, creating a strong foundation for both personal and communal growth.1 True friends actively command good and forbid evil.9
• Love for Allah’s Sake (Hubb fi Allah): This represents the highest form of friendship, where love is purely for the sake of Allah, not for worldly gain. The Prophet (peace be upon him) conveyed the immense reward for such love: “Verily, Allah will say on the Day of Resurrection: ‘Where are those who love each other for the sake of My majesty? Today, I will shelter them in My shade on a day when there is no shade but Mine'”.⁵ This love entails active assistance, honor, and respect, demonstrated through both words and deeds.
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• Compassion and Empathy: This quality is encapsulated in the Hadith: “None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself”.8 It involves sharing joys and pains, and making self-sacrifice for the well-being of a friend.20

The cultivation of these individual virtues—loyalty, honesty, trustworthiness, mutual support, love for Allah’s sake, and compassion—is not merely for personal benefit. The Hadith comparing believers to a building whose parts reinforce each other ¹ explicitly links these individual virtues to a collective outcome: a strong, unified community. This means that the development of these virtues in individual friendships directly contributes to the robustness and resilience of the broader Muslim Ummah. Good individual friendships are foundational to a strong collective body, reinforcing the societal implication of Ukhuwwah.

Table 2: Qualities of a Righteous Friend in Islam

This table offers a clear, actionable guide for identifying and cultivating desirable attributes in friendships. By systematically presenting the ethical framework for friendships in Islam.

4. The Salaf’s Understanding of Companionship

The Salaf, comprising the early generations of Muslims including the Companions of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and their immediate successors, exemplified the Quranic and Prophetic teachings on friendship. Their understanding and practices provide invaluable models and stern warnings for believers.

4.1. Emphasis on Righteous Company and its Spiritual Benefits

The Salaf deeply understood that companionship was a direct reflection of one’s Deen and a powerful means to attain spiritual growth and divine mercy. It is stated that “The Children of Ādam are created to love companionship and friendship, and the one who is given wisdom seeks the company of those who will aid him in the world and likewise in the hereafter. So from the people are those who take the noble, pious and truthful as their friends and companions because they benefit each other”.2 Indeed, “Having those noble companions are a blessing from Allāh in this world and the hereafter”.2 This inherent inclination means that “Good people will incline towards good people and evil people will incline towards evil people”.2

The Salaf emphasized that righteous companions actively help each other in obedience to Allah, encourage good deeds, and participate in gatherings where Allah is remembered. Such gatherings are believed to bring divine mercy and forgiveness.2 This perspective suggests that for the Salaf, friendship was not merely about avoiding harm, but actively accelerating one’s spiritual journey. Good friends were seen not just as passive influences but as active catalysts in one’s pursuit of righteousness. This aligns perfectly with the fundamental Islamic principle of Tawun ‘alal Birr wat-Taqwa (cooperation in righteousness and piety), where believers support each other in all matters of goodness and piety.

4.2. Warnings Against Innovation and Misguidance in Friendship

The Salaf were remarkably vigilant in warning against friendships that could lead to deviation from the authentic teachings of Islam or association with innovators (Ahl al-Bid’ah). It was understood that “Friendship with the evildoers will be a source of loss, regret and sorrow on the Day of Resurrection”.2 The Prophet (peace be upon him) advised, “Do not keep company except with a believer, and none should eat your food except one who fears Allāh and is dutiful”.² This counsel underscored the importance of choosing companions whose faith and character were sound.

The Salaf recognized that even subtle negative influences could lead to significant deviation over time. They stressed the importance of maintaining a clear distinction and distance from those whose beliefs or practices contradicted the Sunnah, even while treating them with general kindness and justice. It is advised that “Instead of making friends with the misguided ones we should befriend the righteous and treat the rest in a gracious and just manner. Staying on a sufficient distance is necessary, yet treating everybody in a noble and kind manner is required”.9 A stark example from the Salaf’s understanding is the story of Abu Talib, the Prophet’s uncle, who on his deathbed was influenced by bad companions to remain in shirk (polytheism) despite the Prophet’s repeated pleas to accept Islam.2 This illustrates the powerful negative influence of unrighteous companions, even at a critical moment. This approach to disassociation highlights a proactive strategy of spiritual self-preservation, acknowledging that certain associations, even if seemingly benign, can compromise one’s faith and lead to spiritual erosion over time.

5. Practical Application: Cultivating and Maintaining Islamic Friendships Today

Translating these timeless Islamic principles into actionable steps is essential for cultivating meaningful and spiritually beneficial friendships in contemporary life.

5.1. Conscious Selection

Believers should actively seek out individuals who demonstrate good character, piety, and a sincere commitment to Islamic values. The emphasis should be on prioritizing shared faith and righteousness over worldly interests or superficial commonalities. Remembering the Hadith, “A person is upon the religion of his best friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends” ⁵, necessitates a deliberate and careful choice of one’s closest companions. This conscious selection serves as a foundational step in building a supportive and spiritually uplifting social circle.

5.2. Mutual Encouragement and Accountability

A true Islamic friendship involves being a consistent source of positive influence. This means actively encouraging friends in their religious duties, reminding them of good deeds, and inspiring them towards greater piety. It also involves offering sincere advice (Nasiha) gently and constructively, commanding good and forbidding evil.¹ The Hadith comparing believers to a building whose different parts enforce each other illustrates this principle: friends should strengthen one another, providing support and accountability that contributes to collective spiritual growth.

5.3. Love for Allah’s Sake

The highest form of friendship in Islam is love purely for the sake of Allah, with the intention of pleasing Him and seeking His reward. This profound love should be demonstrated through actions: helping friends in times of need, showing compassion, and forgiving their shortcomings.¹ The Prophet’s teaching, “None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself”

8, encapsulates the empathy and selflessness required in such bonds. This approach ensures that friendships are a means to attain divine pleasure and blessings.

5.4. Maintaining Ties and Forgiveness

Islamic teachings stress the importance of maintaining strong ties with friends. This includes regularly inquiring about their well-being, visiting them when sick, and praying for them.20 Believers are encouraged to avoid estrangement for more than three days and to be the first to extend greetings and seek reconciliation.21 Practicing forgiveness and patience is crucial, as friendships are dynamic relationships that grow and strengthen over time through shared experiences and mutual understanding of flaws.8

5.5. Expanding the Circle (with Caution)

While prioritizing Muslim brotherhood and sisterhood, Islam also encourages kindness and respect towards all people, regardless of their faith or background. The Quran states, “O mankind, indeed, We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another”.5 This verse promotes interaction and understanding among diverse communities. However, it is important to maintain a “sufficient distance” from misguided individuals to protect one’s Deen, even while treating them justly.9 This approach requires a continuous, dynamic process of discernment and interaction. Cultivating Islamic friendships is therefore not a one-time decision but an ongoing practice that demands vigilance, effort, and adaptability in various social contexts. This dynamic engagement ensures that one’s social interactions remain aligned with Islamic principles while allowing for broader, respectful engagement with humanity.

6. Conclusion: The Enduring Value of Friendship in Islam for This Life and the Hereafter

Islam provides comprehensive guidance on friendship, elevating it from a mere social interaction to a profound spiritual bond. The Quran and Sunnah emphasize the critical importance of choosing righteous companions, actively avoiding harmful associations, and cultivating deep bonds of brotherhood and sisterhood purely for the sake of Allah. These principles are not abstract ideals but practical directives that shape a believer’s character, faith, and ultimate destiny.

True Islamic friendships are a source of immense strength, spiritual growth, and a means to attain Allah’s pleasure and His shade on the Day of Judgment. They serve as a support system, encouraging mutual accountability, sincere advice, and compassion, thereby strengthening the individual and the broader Muslim community. By adhering to these sacred principles, believers can foster relationships that yield benefits not only in this worldly life but also in the eternal Hereafter.

Author: IslamicHelper