The Prohibition of Pre-Marital Relationships in Islam: Understanding the Consequences and Seeking Forgiveness
COMMUNICATING WITH AN EX-LOVER
It’s important to always start by reminding everyone that dating is totally forbidden in Islam; no boyfriend and girlfriend relationship in Islam.
It’s a sad reality that nowadays, ALMOST everyone is into a love relationship irrespective of one’s religious background and it’s not something to be proud of because it’s a sin!
It’s sad that today, someone knows he or she is mature when he or she is dating!
It is sad that nowadays, before a guy finally gets married, he has had several girlfriends and even after marriage, he still date some of them.
It’s a sad reality that today, a lady knows she’s someone when many boys ask her out and she’s likely being in a relationship with them all.
Dating today has become a norm that almost everyone feels they can’t do without being into it. It’s a sin and we won’t stop preaching against it.
WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW
Dating is Haram and when you’re involved in it, know that you’re living a haram life. What if you die in such a condition?
Someone said; if we don’t date, how do we know the right person to marry?
I tell you once you see someone you wish or love to marry, then GO IN FOR ISTIKHARA for Allah to choose the right person for you! That’s the best way to do it and not by justifying your haram lifestyle with the label of marriage!
How many single mothers exist today because of dating? *If you got divorce, then we are not talking about you*.
We are talking about those who got pregnant through zina (fornication) to give birth to bastards. You may not love to hear the word bastard but any child born out of wedlock is a bastard by definition!
When a child is born out of wedlock, there’s a great opportunity that the child in the future will give birth out of wedlock and that chain of immorality continues except Allah’s Mercy prevail!
Nowadays, the only difference between prostitutes and some ladies is that prostitutes have fixed place, fixed price and are known by everyone around!
Falling in love is easy but the outcome is disastrous. How many people have committed suicide? How many have been frustrated, depression and in trauma? How many have contracted diseases of the heart and lungs, etc all because of heart break in a haram relationship?
How many ladies have end up single because at their youth age, they were busy dating and rejecting serious men?
How many men have become irresponsible and useless without any future because they’ve invested their time into dating girls here and there?
How many marriages have been cancelled because the lady went back to the ex-lover and it ended with sex between them?
No matter the kind of lifestyle you’ve lived in the past, even if you have killed millions, associate partner with Allah, don’t loss hope.
Even if you’ve aborted severally, don’t loss hope. It’s true people make mistakes and the best of them are those who repent.
Even if you have children out of wedlock, there’s still hope and you need to be fast. What about going back to your ex-lover?
There’s hope and ALLAH forgives all sins if you repent sincerely.
“Surely, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed He is the most Forgiving, the Merciful’ (Quran 39:53)”
Umar and Abu Mu‘adh said:
Sincere repentance means repenting then never going back to the sin, just as milk never goes back into the udder.
Al-Hasan said:
It means that the person regrets what he did in the past, and is determined not to go back to it.
Al-Kalbi said:
It means that he seeks forgiveness verbally, regrets it in his heart, and restrains himself from wrongful actions.
Allah says:
“The repentance accepted by Allah is only for those who do wrong in ignorance [or carelessness] and then repent soon after. It is those to whom Allah will turn in forgiveness, and Allah is ever Knowing and Wise
But repentance is not [accepted] of those who [continue to] do evil deeds up until, when death comes to one of them, he says, “Indeed, I have repented now,” or of those who die while they are disbelievers. For them We have prepared a painful punishment}
[an-Nisa’ 4:17-18].
NOTE
The Prophet Muhammad pbuh said
““There is no man who commits a sin, then gets up and purifies himself, then prays, then asks Allah for forgiveness, but Allah will forgive him.”
For Allah to accept your repentance, YOU MUST QUIT the sin. Otherwise you won’t be forgiven.
When you repent, stop all forms of communication with the guy or the lady. If not along the line, one thing will lead to another and you’ll find yourself committing adultery again.
Stopping everything with the guy or lady doesn’t mean you find a new one; you need to stop living a haram lifestyle no matter what.
I’ve seen many married women who have gone to their ex-lovers for help or with the pretext that they’re just friends and wallahi majority ends with them sleeping together. Some even take naked photos together afterward, then the ex-lover uses it to blackmail her thereby deceiving her to continue sleeping with him.
Because of communication with ex-lover, many married men today are fathering children which are not their biological children.
You have no reason to go back to your ex-lover after you’ve repented, it will only in one way or the other lead you both to the very mistake again.
On no condition should you allow your wife to be communicating with her ex-lover because it doesn’t only create a door for extramarital affairs, but also proves that she hasn’t repented sincerely to Allah. Sincere repentance means being remorseful and not going back to the sin again. And this goes to men as well!