Developing Value as a Husband: 9 Key Areas to Focus On
We can speak on how wives can develop value but it would be hugely mistaken for anyone to assume that husbands don’t need to develop value as well.
Making you a husband means that there is enough value there to make you chosen but that doesn’t guarantee that there’d be enough value to keep you there. This is the harsh truth.
In our society, we have views unique to us and as expected, play a role in the values women desire.
Some women do not respect their husbands because their husbands lack the right values that deserve such respect but nevertheless, a good wife must always respect her husband.
1. Finance: Women pay a lot of attention to this, and expectedly so too because our base model of marriage is that of “husband – leader, provider” so, provision is key. Of course, there are women who are not all about money but you’d struggle to find a woman who doesn’t desire to be pampered and provided for (even when she is able to provide for herself).
Love can sometimes buy you extra time but in the end, if you are unable to create finance, overall value leaks.
2. Care:
As many have found out, having a man who has money does not always mean getting the money. Women want to be listened to (even when they make it hard to be listened to). So, naturally, a man who is able to pay attention and care for them will build more value than one who is not able to do so.
3. Security:
Rest of mind and security of status helps build value. If everyday comes with uncertainty either through words spoken or actions taken then eventually, value will suffer. If this continues, it will get to the point that this value leak would tear things up.
That is the point where the threatened or insecure woman decides to leave to a place she can have peace and relax.
4. Protection:
If you cannot or will not stand up for her, you will loss value. This is a struggle but unfortunately, many don’t know that this counts even with family. Striking the balance can be tricky and if you get it wrong, leaving her to feel like you allowed her to suffer at the hands of others without protecting her, your value leaks.
5. Presentation:
Let us face it, we all love to associate with good things/people. Part of developing value comes with the public and private perception of you. If you are always dirty for example (and she is clean enough to know it) your value drops.
For some, it goes to the tiny details of how well you are able to speak and flow. For others, it is more about deeper things like the quality of ideas you give out but in the end, we all want spouses that ‘represent’ and that adds value.
6. Be domesticated:
Help out at home, cook, change diapers, wash dishes, etc. It won’t make you a weak man and it won’t make you a slave. There is a deeper bond created with a man who is able to contribute in this way but even more importantly, it lets you be a better leader in the sense that you are able to practise what you preach. i.e. A person who washes his own dishes immediately is in a more earned position to ask others to do so immediately.
7. Be available: What’s the use of all the above if you are not there to show it? If you are not there then you do not get the points for being there.
8. Be inclusive: Wives love to be carried along. Yes, one expects contribution but even when they are unable to make your ideas and situation significantly better, they love to be carried along. Unknown to many, this is one of the easier ways to add to trust such that even when you are not there, you have a wife who is able to relax and speak with confidence on what is, what is likely to be.
9. Appreciation: Every wife has a good side, know this good side and appreciate it. It does not only help to make her feel encouraged and valued, it makes you earn the right to speak also about the parts .