Comprehensive Guide to Anger Management in Islamic Teachings
Anger is the name of a psychological state, and it is part of human nature. Therefore, this characteristic exists in every person and is observed in daily life. It is not something exclusive to the wealthy, as even the poor experience anger. This trait manifests from childhood to old age, indicating that anger is an inseparable part of human nature. The words of Allah and His Messenger also clearly indicate this. Allah describes the traits of believers in the Qur’an:
Those who spend (in Allah’s cause) in prosperity and adversity, who restrain their anger and pardon people – And Allah loves the good-doers.
(Surah Al Imran: 134)
The Prophet (ﷺ) said:
"The strong man is not the one who can wrestle, but the strong man is the one who can control himself when he is angry."
(Sahih Bukhari: 6114)
From this Qur’anic verse and hadith, we learn that anger is a natural human trait, but Islam has commanded us to suppress and control this trait. Sayyiduna Abu Huraira Radeyallahu Anhu narrated that a man asked the Prophet (ﷺ) for advice, and the Prophet said:
“Do not get angry.”
The man repeated his request several times, and the Prophet said: *”Do not get angry.”*
(Sahih Bukhari: 6116)
From this, it becomes clear that while anger is a part of human nature, uncontrolled anger leads to disastrous consequences. It causes separation between spouses, distances children from their parents, creates discord between siblings, and leads to societal corruption. Anger is the root cause of oppression, brutality, and chaos in the world. When anger is suppressed, turmoil is contained; when anger is unleashed, chaos and discord arise. At such moments, Satan takes full advantage, igniting the flames of hatred and revenge between parties, often resulting in bloodshed. Anger also has negative effects on the human body and soul. It is evident from physical signs such as a flushed face, bulging veins, and rapid breathing.
Anger can cause digestive issues, increase cholesterol levels, affect the intestines, weaken the immune system, increase the risk of stroke, and lead to heart diseases. It can also affect the liver, brain, memory, and nervous system, even paving the way for death.
Since anger is the root cause of societal destruction, it is essential to understand its causes to avoid them and gain control over anger.
(1) Pride:
One major cause of anger is arrogance. A prideful person is prone to anger and tends to belittle others. Islam condemns pride and has prohibited the arrogant from entering Paradise. The Prophet ﷺ said:
Whoever has an atom’s weight of pride in his heart will not enter Paradise.
(Sahih Muslim: 91)
A person concerned about their Hereafter will never indulge in arrogance and risk entering Hell.
Bad Manners and Speech:
Bad speech, unnecessary verbosity, harsh words, sarcasm, gossip, irritability, and similar negative traits lead to anger and create animosity. A believer’s character is to be gentle and well-mannered. The Prophet ﷺ said:
The believer is simple and generous, while the wicked is deceitful and stingy.
(Sahih Abu Dawood: 4790)
We should speak less, adopt good manners, and avoid harmful speech, as the tongue is the cause of many great troubles. The Prophet ﷺ said:
"Whoever guarantees me (the chastity of) what is between his jaws and his legs, I guarantee him Paradise."
(Sahih Bukhari: 6474)
The Prophet ﷺ also said:
“Part of the perfection of a person’s Islam is leaving that which does not concern him.”
(Sahih Tirmidhi: 2317)
In summary, a person who is well-mannered, speaks with gentleness, uses their words wisely, and remains silent during disputes will be protected from the afflictions of anger.
(3) Dealing with Ignorant People:
In society, there are many ignorant and foolish people who provoke the emotions of decent individuals, seeking to create discord. At such times, the proper response for a decent person is patience and silence. Allah says:
“And when the ignorant address them (the believers), they say ‘Peace.’ “
(Surah Al-Furqan: 63)
Here, “peace” means choosing silence in the face of ignorance. Allah further says:
“And when they pass by idle talk, they pass by with dignity.”
(Surah Al-Furqan: 72)
This means that they remain silent when faced with vain talk. Whoever remains silent in such situations will be safe from discord. The Prophet ﷺ said:
Whoever remains silent has saved himself.
(Sahih Tirmidhi: 2501)
(4) Forgiveness Instead of Retaliation:
Sometimes, we may be justified in seeking revenge because we have been wronged, but retaliation often leads to further conflict and anger. Islam encourages forgiveness. Allah says:
Those who avoid major sins and immorality, and when they are angry, they forgive.
(Surah Ash-Shura: 37)
The Prophet ﷺ said:
Charity does not decrease wealth, and Allah only increases a servant in honor when he forgives, and no one humbles himself for the sake of Allah except that Allah raises his status.
(Sahih Muslim: 2588)
(5) Exposure to Violence:
Another cause of anger is exposure to violent environments, films, or friends. We should avoid violent surroundings and negative influences, as they contribute to anger and aggression.
(6) Satan’s Influence:
Satan circulates within our veins and knows that anger is part of human nature. He incites anger, leading to sinful actions. To combat this, we must remain steadfast in prayer, constant in remembrance, and always be mindful of Allah, both in public and private.
(7) Fearlessness of Allah:
A lack of fear of Allah, persistence in sin, and neglecting religious teachings can also ignite anger. A person who is pious, avoids sin, acquires knowledge, and acts upon it will not oppress others.
(8) Criticism and Speaking the Truth:
Criticism, even when justified, often leads to anger. Therefore, when speaking the truth, one should be wise and tactful, and when criticized, one should accept it without anger.
(9) Mental Stress:
Mental stress is another cause of anger. In today’s world, many are burdened with financial, social, and personal stresses, leading to widespread violence, conflict, and corruption. Islam has provided us with golden principles for living a peaceful life, free from anxiety and tension.
(10) Tribalism and Bias:
Wherever there is bias or prejudice, anger will manifest, causing disruption. Tribalism, nationalism, and sectarianism are among the significant causes of discord today. Islam teaches us to treat all believers as brothers, yet many Muslims regard their fellow believers as enemies due to sectarian biases. Islam calls for unity, and abandoning these biases would lead to both societal and religious progress.
Immediate Measures for Anger:
Some of the causes of anger were mentioned above. If one avoids these, they can control their anger and protect themselves from its negative consequences throughout their life. But if, unfortunately, one does become angry, what should they do immediately?
1. Seek refuge in Allah from Satan, as he is the main instigator who whispers anger into the heart and brings it to the surface. Allah says:
And If you are tempted by Satan, then seek refuge with Allah. Surely He is All-Hearing, All-Knowing." (Al-A'raf: 200)
The Prophet (ﷺ) said:
When a man becomes angry and says, 'I seek refuge in Allah,' his anger will subside.(Sahih al-Jami: 695)
In a story from Sahihain (Bukhari and Muslim), two men were arguing, and one of them became so angry that his face turned red and his veins swelled. The Prophet (ﷺ) said:
I know a word, that if he were to say it, his anger would disappear: 'I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Satan.'" (Sahih al-Bukhari: 3282, Sahih Muslim: 2610)
2. Stay silent: Anger makes one more likely to say harmful things, and the more one speaks, the more their anger will increase. Hence, the Prophet (ﷺ) advised:
> When any of you becomes angry, let him be silent. (Sahih al-Jami: 693)
3. Change your posture: If you’re standing, sit down, and if sitting doesn’t reduce your anger, lie down. The Prophet (ﷺ) said:
> "When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down." (Sahih Abu Dawood: 4782)
4. Use cold water: While some weak narrations suggest making ablution or taking a bath during anger, scholars have recommended using cold water as a remedy. Therefore, drinking water or washing one’s face and hands might help in reducing anger.
Causes of Anger Prevention:
Anger and gentleness are traits found in all human beings. Some people lean towards anger and abandon gentleness, while others adopt a gentle temperament and control their anger. Although one can’t completely eliminate anger, they can reduce it. After discussing how to treat anger immediately, we now focus on how to keep it under control permanently.
First and foremost, one must avoid the triggers that inflame anger. Previously, we discussed the causes of anger, including arrogance, bad manners, ignorance, impatience, desire for revenge, watching violent movies, satanic influence, mental stress, and tribalism.
Moreover, cultivating a gentle temperament, striving in worship, fasting frequently, keeping the tongue moist with the remembrance of Allah, avoiding idle talk, maintaining silence, giving charity, treating the poor kindly, and avoiding major sins and obscene acts are all helpful in reducing anger.
Allah says:
And those who avoid the major sins and immoralities, and when they are angry, they forgive. (Ash-Shura: 37)
In this verse, after mentioning avoiding major sins and immoralities, Allah praises believers for forgiving even when they are angry. Furthermore, it shows that while we may have the power to exact revenge, forgiveness is more virtuous in Allah’s sight. In another place, Allah commends those who spend, control their anger, and forgive others:
Who spend [in the cause of Allah] during ease and hardship and who restrain anger and pardon the people—and Allah loves the doers of good." (Al-Imran: 134)
This proves that anger can be controlled and is not beyond a person’s ability to manage. If anger could not be controlled, the weak would take revenge on the strong, and injustice would reign. However, when the weak restrain their anger, it prevents further harm. Furthermore, those who forgive despite having the power to retaliate are granted the privilege of selecting their companions in Paradise. The Prophet (ﷺ) said:
Whoever suppresses his anger while having the power to act upon it will be called by Allah on the Day of Resurrection, in front of the creation, and allowed to choose from the wide-eyed maidens of Paradise as he wishes. (Sahih at-Tirmidhi: 2021)
Anger and Accountability:
Anger is a choice. If someone kills another person in a fit of rage, even worldly courts will not absolve them, and they will face punishment before Allah. An individual should always remember that the outcome of anger is harmful, and it will lead to accountability before Allah. This realization will help to soften their anger and prevent them from committing sins in a fit of rage. The Prophet (ﷺ) prayed for the ability to speak the truth during times of both anger and pleasure:
I ask You for the ability to speak the truth in times of contentment and anger." (Sahih an-Nasa’i: 1304)
In times of fear or nightmare, the Prophet (ﷺ) would seek refuge with the following words:
"I seek refuge in the perfect words of Allah from His anger and the evil of His servants, and from the evil of the whispers of the devils, and from them coming near me." (Sahih Abu Dawood: 3893)
The Anger of Allah and His Messenger:
Anger is also an attribute of Allah and His Messenger, so not every kind of anger is blameworthy. In some instances, anger in moderation is considered commendable. Regarding Allah’s anger, the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:
"When Allah completed the creation, He wrote in His Book which is with Him on His Throne, "My Mercy overpowers My Anger."
(Sahih al-Bukhari: 3194)
Allah does not become angry with His servants without reason; rather, it is when His commandments are disobeyed that He becomes angry and punishes the disobedient. Sometimes this punishment occurs in this world, sometimes in the Hereafter, and sometimes in both. Here are a few verses from the Quran regarding Allah’s anger:
Allah says:
And they were covered with humiliation and poverty and returned with anger from Allah [upon them]. That was because they [repeatedly] disbelieved in the signs of Allah and killed the prophets without right. That was because they disobeyed and were [habitually] transgressing.
(Surah Al-Baqarah: 61)
Allah says:
"And whoever kills a believer intentionally, their reward will be Hell—where they will stay indefinitely. Allah will be displeased with them, condemn them, and will prepare for them a tremendous punishment."
(Surah An-Nisa: 93)
Allah says:
"Eat from the good things We have provided for you, but do not transgress in them, or My wrath will befall you. And whoever My wrath befalls is certainly doomed."
(Surah Ta-Ha: 81)
There are many such verses, but for the sake of brevity, I will not mention all of them. Keep in mind that Allah’s anger leads one to Hell. The Prophet (ﷺ) said:
“A slave (of Allah) may utter a word which pleases Allah without giving it much importance, and because of that Allah will raise him to degrees (of reward): a slave (of Allah) may utter a word (carelessly) which displeases Allah without thinking of its gravity and because of that he will be thrown into the Hell-Fire.”
(Sahih al-Bukhari: 6478)
To avoid Allah’s anger, one should refrain from disobedience, and charity should be given regularly, as it extinguishes Allah’s anger. The Prophet (ﷺ) said:
“Indeed, charity extinguishes the anger of the Lord and protects against a bad death.”
(At-Tirmidhi: 667)
Although this hadith has a weak chain of narration, Shaykh al-Albani rahimahullah has strengthened the first part of the hadith based on numerous supporting narrations (Tamaam al-Minnah: 390).
The Prophet (ﷺ) would also become angry. He would express anger when delivering sermons or when witnessing quarrels. He would also get angry when hearing or seeing something wrong. There are numerous instances in the hadith regarding this, and it is not possible to mention all of them in this brief article. However, I will present a few examples:
1. Aisha (رضي الله عنها) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) entered the house, and there was a curtain with pictures on it. His face changed color due to anger.
(Sahih al-Bukhari: 6109)
2. A man said to the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ), “O Messenger of Allah! I delay attending the Fajr prayer because such and such person lengthens it.” Abdullah ibn Mas’ud (رضي الله عنه) said:
"I have never seen the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) more angry in delivering advice than on that day."
(Sahih al-Bukhari: 6110)
3. The Prophet (ﷺ) gave me a silk garment to wear. I wore it and went out, but I saw the anger on his face. So, I cut it into pieces and distributed it among the women of my household.
(Sahih al-Bukhari: 5840)
4. Abu Huraira (رضي الله عنه) narrated:
"The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) came out to us while we were disputing about fate. His face became red with anger, and it appeared as if pomegranate seeds were pressed on his cheeks."
(Sahih at-Tirmidhi: 2133)
Prohibited and Commendable Anger:
Every type of anger that Allah and His Messenger disapprove of is forbidden. This can be explained as any anger expressed in opposition to Allah and His Messenger, such as getting angry without a valid reason, showing anger toward someone who speaks the truth, or expressing anger when one is in the wrong.
Examples of impermissible anger include being consumed by vengeance, oppressing the weak through anger, making decisions while angry, forcibly imposing one’s will, and being arrogant due to wealth and power.
Not only is unjustified anger prohibited, but any act of disobedience can also lead to Allah’s anger. We are required to express anger in moderation when eliminating evil, as the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) instructed to discipline children for neglecting prayer, mentioned light discipline for a rebellious wife, and ordered the removal of evil with one’s hand. Anger is present in all these actions.
Therefore, we have the right to express anger when Allah and His Messenger are disobeyed, but this anger should not exceed the limits such that it causes harm rather than benefit. It should also be expressed at the appropriate time, with wisdom and understanding. Excessive or misplaced anger can lead to destruction, so it must be avoided.
The standard for acceptable anger is in the words of the Prophet (ﷺ):
The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) never took revenge over anybody for his own sake but (he did) only when Allah's legal bindings were outraged, in which case he would take revenge for Allah's sake
(Sahih al-Bukhari: 6126)
Written by: Shaikh Maqbool Ahmed Salafi (Hafizahullah)
(Jeddah Dawah Center – Saudi Arabia)
Interpreter: Hasan Fuzail