Islamic Guidelines for Looking at a Woman with the Intention of Marriage
Conditions for the legitimate gaze (النظرة الشرعية):
Sheikh Ibn Uthaymeen, may Allah have mercy on him, states:
شروط جواز النظر إلى المرأة ستة:
“There are six conditions for the permissibility of looking at a woman (for the purpose of marriiage):
الأول: أن يكون بلا خلوة.
Firstly, it should be without seclusion.
الثاني: أن يكون بلا شهوة.
Secondly, it should not be accompanied with lust/desire, for if one looks with desire, it becomes forbidden, because the purpose of looking is to inquire (الاستعلام), not for gratification (استمتاع).
الثالث: أن يغلب على ظنه الإجابة.
Thirdly, he has high hopes of having his proposal accepted.
الرابع: أن ينظر إلى ما يظهر غالباً.
Fourthly, one should look at what is usually visible.
الخامس: أن يكون عازماً على الخطبة
Fifthly, one should be determined to propose, meaning that the gaze should result from the intention to propose to their daughter. If one intends to roam among women (looking at this one and looking at that one), this is not permissible.
السادس: ألا تظهر (المرأة) متبرجة أو متطيبة، مكتحلة
Sixthly, (addressing the women) she should not appear uncovered, perfumed, wearing eye liner, or any similar form of beautification. This is because the intent is not for a person to desire her sexually such that she appears adorned. This is what a woman does for her husband in order to attract him to intimacy, so this contains fitnah, and the default ruling is that it is prohibited because she is a stranger to him. Additionally, if she appears [adorned] in such a manner, it is harmful; because if he marries her and finds her different from the beauty he was accustomed to, his attraction to her may wane, and his perception of her may change.”
[Ash-Sharḥ Al-Mumti’ (12/22)]