Why Sisters Shouldn’t Stop Their Husbands from Remarrying

The Islamic Perspective on Second Marriages and Wives’ Rights

The Name of Sisters Who Prevent Their Husbands from Remarrying

When a woman hears that her husband is about to marry a second wife, an earthquake seems to erupt in her life. There are arguments, fights, physical confrontations, verbal abuse, and even conflicts between two families. The question arises: Is a second marriage a sin? Is it an injustice to the first wife, or is there fairness with one and injustice with the other? When we weigh these questions on the scale of Islamic law, we find that a man’s second marriage, or having multiple marriages simultaneously, is permissible for men. It is neither a sin, nor injustice to anyone, nor unfair treatment.

If Allah had not allowed men to marry more than one, no man would marry a second time. The practice of second marriages is based on an Islamic command. Therefore, it is wrong for any Muslim woman to prevent her husband from marrying again. There is no instance in the time of the Sahabah (companions of the Prophet) where a woman stopped her husband from marrying another or created chaos over it. In fact, the current uproar regarding second marriages is a result of Hindu social influences, where the Hindu Marriage Act only permits one marriage, whereas in Islamic countries, even in today’s challenging times, there is no such uproar as found in the subcontinent.

Not every man is capable of multiple marriages, but many men do have the ability to marry more than one. I believe these capable men should exercise this ability. This will have a number of positive effects on both individuals and society. Consider what will happen if multiple marriages become common – would marriage still be expensive? Would fathers still be burdened with the cost of daughters’ weddings? Would the daughters of poor families still be left unmarried or suffer due to the lack of a dowry? Would disabled or unattractive women still long for marriage? Would men with multiple desires suffer in turmoil? Would the rising cases of zina (illicit relations) decrease?

In today’s environment, marriage has become so difficult and expensive that a father starts saving for his daughter’s wedding from the moment she is born, especially a poor father. My belief is that Muslims should follow Islamic guidelines for marriage, and the wealthy should pay zakat honestly, then there will be no poverty or unrest in the Muslim community. A society like this would be so advanced that every individual would live in peace.

I have written this long introduction to explain to those sisters who consider a second marriage a disaster worse than a punishment. This is actually a misunderstanding among Islamic women, influenced by a corrupt society. When did we create an Islamic society? A society where Islamic veiling, brotherhood, Islamic trade and dealings, enjoining good and forbidding evil, exist? When evil prevails in society, its negative impact will reflect in all aspects of life. You might think that your rights will be taken away with a second marriage, your children will be deprived, your husband’s love will diminish, your freedom will be taken away, and your needs and desires will not be fulfilled, etc.

First, realize that a second marriage is not an injustice or a punishment for you. If this were true, then the first wife would always live in peace without any worries, without ever having any disputes with her husband. But in reality, even in societies where only one marriage occurs, there are many conflicts between husbands and wives, which often lead to divorces. So, don’t assume that being the only wife means you are free from issues. Then, what should your attitude be towards your husband’s second marriage?

In this context, the first point is that you should have a basic understanding of Islam so that you can live your life under its guidance, spending your days and nights in worship and fulfilling your religious duties. Life, in essence, is full of challenges, so learn how to endure them. Think about how happy you were in your parents’ house before marriage and the problems that arose after marriage. If some issues arise due to your husband’s second marriage, why should you worry? Recognize your rights and responsibilities, and keep fulfilling them, and you will never be unhappy even in the face of challenges.

If your husband is contemplating a second marriage, see whether he will be able to treat both wives equally and bear the expenses of both. If the answer is yes, then encourage him to marry, and what’s there to be upset about?

It is already established that men are allowed to marry more than one, so it is incorrect for you to stop him from doing so or to demand a divorce. One more point related to faith and trust: The first wife might worry that her portion of sustenance will be taken away by the second woman and her children, but Allah has already written the sustenance for everyone while they are in their mother’s wombs. No one can take anyone else’s sustenance.

Think about this perspective too: How much control do you have over your husband? Is he your possession, with no right for anyone else to share? No, this is not the case. Even the husband’s entire property is not fully yours; you only have a share of it, such as one-fourth or one-eighth. With a single word of divorce from him, your relationship is severed. He can marry anyone, and you should be indifferent. So, consider carefully: Why stop him from a second marriage?

Sometimes, out of necessity, a woman herself encourages her husband to marry again, for example, if they are childless, or if she is unable to satisfy him sexually, or if she is often ill. This is a commendable gesture. Similarly, Islamic sisters should also feel empathy for women who are unable to marry, as they are numerous.

It is narrated in Sahih Bukhari that before the Day of Judgment, there will be an abundance of women, and we see the same today, despite the widespread practice of female infanticide. In such a case, justice for all women can only be achieved if men marry more than once.

Sayyidna Anas (RA) narrated that the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said:
لَا تَقُومُ السَّاعَةُ وإمَّا قالَ: مِن أَشْرَاطِ السَّاعَةِ، أَنْ يُرْفَعَ العِلْمُ، وَيَظْهَرَ الجَهْلُ، وَيُشْرَبَ الخَمْرُ، وَيَظْهَرَ الزِّنَا، وَيَقِلَّ الرِّجَالُ، وَيَكْثُرَ النِّسَاءُ حتَّى يَكونَ لِلْخَمْسِينَ امْرَأَةً القَيِّمُ الوَاحِدُ(صحيح البخاري:6808)
Translation: “The Hour will not be established until knowledge is taken away, ignorance prevails, alcohol is consumed in abundance, zina becomes widespread, men become fewer, and women become more, to the point that fifty women will be looked after by one man.”

If a woman encourages her husband to marry a second time out of a desire to help a helpless woman, she will be rewarded by Allah.

There is no doubt that if a man has more than one wife, there will be more issues in his life. But what concern do the wives have with these issues? Their responsibility is merely to manage the household, while the man is responsible for the financial upkeep, housing, education, and healthcare of his wives and children.

After the second marriage, the main issue often arises when the first wife views the second wife as her enemy. The second wife is not your enemy; consider her your sister. Just as you love your husband, love your sister as well, and both of you will live happily. If both sisters support each other in household chores, the home will flourish. The more they live separately, the fewer issues there will be.

Finally, I would like to share a hadith with you. Memorize it and live by it, Insha’Allah you will live happily in whatever situation you are in.

It is narrated from Abdullah ibn Omar (RA) that the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said:
إِذَا ‏صَلَّتِ الْمَرْأَةُ خَمْسَهَا، وَصَامَتْ شَهْرَهَا، وَحَفِظَتْ فَرْجَهَا، وَأَطَاعَتْ زَوْجَهَا، قِيلَ لَهَا: ادْخُلِي الْجَنَّةَ مِنْ أَيِّ أَبْوَابِ الْجَنَّةِ ‏شِئْتِ{مسند احمد،الطبرانی الأوسط}
Translation: “When a woman prays her five daily prayers, fasts during the month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, it will be said to her, ‘Enter Paradise through whichever gate you wish.'”

One final point I want to make is that you should realize that when the idea of a second marriage crosses your husband’s mind, it only strengthens as you try to stop him and argue. Islam has not granted you the authority to stop a second marriage, while men have the authority to do so. Therefore, think carefully about who is in the right when it comes to a second marriage according to Islam. However, it is acceptable for you to advise your husband to reconsider a second marriage if he cannot fulfill the conditions of justice, maintaining equal treatment between both wives, and being able to meet their financial and sexual needs.