Rebuilding a Marriage After Triple Talaq Misunderstanding

A Story of Hope: Restoring a Marriage Misunderstood as Triple Talaq

How the Home of an Oppressed Divorcee was Rebuilt

Social media has reduced distances, made communication incredibly easier, and expanded the scope of connections. Today, a person sitting alone in one place can send his message to the farthest corners of the world, contact anyone, and deliver his message with lightning speed. This is the incredible power of social media. The whole world is benefiting from it, from politicians to ordinary people, each using social media for their respective purposes. This is the wonder that the voice of a helpless individual, who once had no one to listen to, especially when the helpless person is poor and destitute, was often lost in the void. However, today, social media has amplified the voice of the oppressed, so much so that it now echoes in political halls and public circles.

I am about to share a sorrowful story of one such oppressed woman, whose broken home took three years to rebuild. The story is of a distressed woman from Pakistan, Samira Rehman, whose marriage took place on May 24, 2015. However, nearly five months later, she received a divorce notice from her husband through the court, dated October 15, 2015. The notice mentioned that due to frequent arguments, her husband was compelled to give her a triple divorce according to Islamic law.

After divorce, very few people are without regret. Most feel sorrow, but for those who follow blind imitation of a particular school of thought and have given their wife a triple divorce, there is no way to repent or seek forgiveness. This is why society faces disastrous effects from triple divorce. I have discussed the severe consequences of triple divorce in one of my articles, and readers of this painful story should read that article as well.

In this story, I am reminded of the ancient Hindu tradition of Sati, in which the helpless widow is forcefully thrown onto her husband’s funeral pyre. The widow cries, weeps, screams, and struggles, but the upholders of this tradition consider it to be a religious rite, believing that throwing the widow into the fire is a religious duty. Similarly, in the case of triple divorce, the woman is forced into the practice of Halalah (a woman marrying another man and being divorced by him before remarrying her original husband). She cries for help, but the followers of this tradition insist on Halalah, even if it means destroying her dignity and honor.

In this story, the husband feels regret and wishes to return to his wife. The wife deeply loves her husband and also wants to rebuild her home. The husband continues to consult Hanafi scholars, but they inform him that there is no way to return to his wife, unless he goes through Halalah. Truly, Halalah is a means through which a woman’s honor and dignity are trampled upon. A man and a woman of honor would never compromise their respect for such a trick. Both the man and the woman in this story possess that honor.

The husband, after consulting scholars of his school of thought for three long years, finds no solution to rebuild his home. Meanwhile, the story of the oppressed divorcee is heartbreaking. She has a married sister, a mother suffering from cancer, and a deceased father. There is no brother or any man in her family to support her, only uncles who occasionally show some concern. When the woman was divorced, she returned to her parental home. Her mother, who had remarried after her husband’s death, began facing jealousy from her second husband. He started humiliating her and threatened to throw her out of the house. Ultimately, the mother, as any mother would, decided that her daughter would stay with her. She stood firm, telling her second husband that if he wanted to stay with her, he should accept her daughter, or he should leave. The second husband could not tolerate being disrespected by a woman. He became extremely angry, physically abused his wife, and even ran towards his daughter with a knife, intending to harm her. He severely insulted them and severed all ties, leaving the house permanently.

The mother, despite her suffering, sacrificed her own home to protect and support her daughter. The compassion that Allah has instilled in a mother’s heart is truly remarkable. SubhanAllah!

After the second husband left, the mother supported her daughter. The daughter kept praying day and night to Allah, asking for a good man to come into her life who would resolve her situation. She didn’t want to remain a burden on her mother for long, and she was also afraid of the social ridicule. The taunts about her father’s departure and the possibility of her mother marrying again made her anxious. The girl says, “The time was so difficult that if my mother hadn’t been there, my sister might not have been able to support me either.”

Time passed, and after three years, by coincidence, the girl received my WhatsApp number from a friend who shared the same name. She sent me her divorce certificate and explained her issue, asking for a solution. I responded clearly in an audio message, stating that only one divorce had occurred and explained that she could remarry her former husband. She felt immense relief upon hearing my response, as though a traveler lost in the dark had found a light. When the hope of meeting her ex-husband arose, she spoke to her mother, who also started to believe that her daughter couldn’t rebuild her home. The girl played the audio message for her mother, who expressed a desire to speak with me. I set a time, and at that appointed time, the girl’s mother contacted me via WhatsApp call. Her voice showed signs of desperation. Though the helpless mother was narrating her story in Punjabi, and I couldn’t fully understand, I could tell she understood my words, and her heart became reassured. Now, the mother also saw hope for her daughter’s home to be rebuilt. Overcome with love, she said, “Son, if you could write something, I could show it to others. Who would believe me otherwise?” I immediately prepared a fatwa on my Dawah center’s letterhead and sent it to her via WhatsApp.

Now the man, who had been under the influence of Hanafi scholars’ fatwas for three years, found no way to rise above this burden. The girl listened to my advice and considered the fatwa carefully. Her ex-husband also expressed a desire to speak with me. The next day, around the time of the Dhuhr prayer, he contacted me with three questions.

He said, “I am a Hanafi, and I’ve been asking scholars about this issue for three years, but all have told me that I can’t go back to my wife. What is the reason for this?” I replied, “The only reason is that these scholars are Hanafi. If they were to issue a fatwa based on the Quran and Sunnah, it would be the same as the one I gave. If you go to any Ahl al-Hadith scholar in Pakistan, they will give you the same answer I’ve provided, based on the Quran and Hadith.”

He asked a second question: “If I remarry my wife, will there be any punishment in the Hereafter?” I answered, “If following the Quran and Hadith leads to punishment in the Hereafter, then all those scholars who issue such fatwas will face it too, and I myself will face it. If you are punished, I will be with you in the Hereafter.”

His third question was: “If I act according to your opinion on this matter, will it affect my adherence to Hanafi teachings or bring any restrictions upon me?” I replied, “I have called you to follow the words of Allah and His Messenger. Anyone who follows the words of Allah and His Messenger is the best in the sight of Allah. Yes, you may face ridicule from Hanafi scholars or their followers, and there may be injustice towards you. You can tell them that just as Imam Muhammad, a student of Imam Abu Hanifah, did not accept hundreds of his teacher’s rulings and issued fatwas contrary to him, I too do not accept one ruling of the Hanafis and follow the Quran and Hadith in this matter.”

After this, he seemed reassured. The girl’s uncle also became aware of the situation and saw a solution to the problem. Finally, on March 11, 2019, the girl’s uncle and her ex-husband met at her house. Everyone was now convinced that only one divorce had occurred. The uncle himself confirmed this from several sources, and the husband openly stated, “I am now at peace with this, which is why I am here.” During this meeting, it was agreed that the remarriage would take place on March 21 or 22, and the girl would move to her in-laws’ house in April to begin her new life, InshaAllah.

That night, the decision was made, and throughout the night, no one in the girl’s house could sleep with joy. The girl was eagerly waiting for the morning so she could be the first to share the good news with me. When I opened WhatsApp after Fajr prayer the next morning, tears of happiness filled my eyes as I read her message. She shared many more details along with her prayers and also mentioned, “The first credit for rebuilding my home goes to you, which is why I am sharing this news with you before anyone else. Now, I will tell my sister who gave me your number and did me an unforgettable favor.”

Thus, by Allah’s grace, the home of a wronged divorcee, which had been empty for three years, is now being rebuilt and is on its way to being filled with life. Alhamdulillah, thumma Alhamdulillah.

I pray to Allah that He grants her home be established without any hindrance, keeps love between the husband and wife for life, grants them steadfastness in their faith, removes all difficulties from their home, aids every oppressed sister in the world, grants health and wellness to her mother, and keeps us all on the straight path. Ameen.

In the first part, it was mentioned that on March 11, 2019, a meeting took place at the girl’s house regarding her marriage, in which it was decided that she would marry the same boy. The boy was present at the meeting and agreed to the decision, and it was explicitly asked whether he had any concerns; he replied that he was only sitting with them today after being fully satisfied with this matter.

After this meeting, discussions about the marriage began to spread among the girl’s relatives, reaching both near and far. Those who did not want the marriage to happen started encouraging each other and began trying to influence the girl and her mother. The girl’s maternal uncle’s brother, Amir, had just returned from Umrah in Saudi Arabia at the time. He was influenced by others and called the girl to persuade her. He made various deceptive arguments, such as that this marriage was unlawful, the children born from it would be illegitimate, and that she was ruining her hereafter. He also claimed that her relatives would be embarrassed by this marriage. He further said, “I heard that you were given a fatwa by a Saudi. I don’t know if that scholar is even legitimate, or if he’s a Shia or Sunni.” He continued to manipulate her for a long time and eventually advised her, “Why don’t you go to Rawat in Pindi? There’s a big scholar there, highly respected. Show him the fatwa from Saudi, and he will give you a fatwa that you can follow. After that, society won’t have anything to say about you.”

Though the girl was mentally troubled by these words, she gave Amir a response that shut him down. She said, “For three years, when I was in difficulties, you didn’t remember me. Now, when I’ve decided my life for myself and, الحمدلله (Alhamdulillah), I am confident in my decision, you’re suddenly concerned. I trust the fatwa I received from those righteous people sitting on the blessed land, and Alhamdulillah, God’s mercy rains down on them day and night. They gave me the solution to this issue based on the Quran and Hadith. I trust their fatwa, not yours, because I spent three years dealing with your scholars and learned that they only fulfill their desires during such sensitive times.”

The girl then told me the entire story. I told her, “Surely, like seasonal doctors, many people will come out of their holes now, claiming to care for you. You need to stay away from them. Do not discuss this matter with anyone.” I then said, “Your mother is suffering from cancer, and she needs fifty thousand rupees every three months for treatment. If anyone asks you about divorce and marriage, tell them, ‘I do not have a problem with divorce or marriage. My problem is my mother’s treatment. If you can help with this, please do so, but as for advice, if I ever need it, I will ask you when the time comes.'”

I had previously mentioned that the girl did not have siblings, but this was my lack of information. She actually does have siblings, who live their own lives separately, and in fact, since the time of her divorce, her sister and brother-in-law have only caused her pain and disgrace. It was also this sister who instigated Amir. The three years of her painful situation are not something that can be easily shared with others. Before leaving, her stepfather sold her remaining dignity. He went around town tarnishing her honor, spreading all kinds of false accusations about her. In such circumstances, the girl, during her waiting period (iddah), took up a job to support her sick mother and manage the household. Out of necessity, she had to leave the job, and even stepping outside her house became difficult due to the fear of accusations. Months later, one day, she went out to buy vegetables, and the vegetable vendor said, “I heard you’ve been divorced.” Hearing this, it felt as though the ground slipped from beneath her feet. She lived in this suppressed way for so long. Anyone can imagine what the situation must have been like for a girl who had been divorced, who was being unjustly accused in the name of divorce, and who had no one—neither a father nor siblings—to comfort her. What must her emotional state have been?

Days went by, three years passed, and by chance, I got in touch with her. She explained the entire issue to me, and I sent her a fatwa in writing. The fatwa was also sent to her husband, and her mother was advised. Everyone agreed, and one day, the family gathered, and they all agreed that the girl would marry the same boy again. It was estimated that the nikah would take place on March 21 or 22, but due to the boy’s busy schedule and other issues, they couldn’t meet during those days. Finally, on Monday, March 25, 2019, the boy, the girl’s maternal uncle, and several other people gathered, and the second marriage was solemnized at noon. The remarkable thing was that the same imam who had performed the first nikah conducted the second one. My fatwa was presented to him, and he said, “Alhamdulillah, this fatwa has come from a place where its words cannot be disputed.” He also further inquired from the boy about how many times he had sent the divorce notice through court. The boy replied that he had sent the notice only once. The imam then said, “You wasted three years for no reason. You both could have been together much earlier.”

One major benefit of having this imam conduct the nikah was that those who would talk behind their backs would now have a clear answer, and many would not even dare to speak ill, thinking that if this imam performed the nikah, it must be correct.

In any case, I didn’t see tears in this sister’s eyes, but I felt a deep sense of pain and anxiety in her voice. I felt she needed my help, and I tried my best to resolve her issue. Because of my involvement in this, I had to bear some losses, but when helping someone results in a greater benefit for them, one should not hesitate. Allah listens to everyone and helps everyone. The sister’s prayers and efforts were accepted, and her home was restored. This is how many homes, ruined in the name of triple talaq, need to be rebuilt.

The joy of children is much greater for a mother than for a father. After all, it is the mother who nurtures them in her womb, bears the pain of childbirth, and cares for them for two years, keeping them close to her chest and providing nourishment. This sister has requested prayers for children from people, and through her, I also request everyone to pray for her safety and for her to be blessed with children.