The Role of Women’s Ingratitude in Their Accountability in the Hereafter
Allah, the Lord of all worlds, has showered countless blessings upon us, and among these blessings, marriage is one of the greatest gifts. Marriage is not only the means of the continuation of human lineage, but it also brings natural smiles, peace, comfort, beauty, happiness, and true delicacies to the lives of men and women. For a believing woman, the Prophet ﷺ gave this great advice regarding her guardians: when a man with good religious values and manners comes seeking her hand in marriage, she should accept his proposal, and her marriage should be with this righteous man. If this is not done, there will be great corruption and mischief in the land. The Prophet ﷺ said:
إذا خطبَ إليكم مَن ترضَونَ دينَه وخلقَه، فزوِّجوهُ إلَّا تفعلوا تَكن فتنةٌ في الأرضِ وفسادٌ عريضٌ
(Sahih Tirmidhi: 1084)
Translation: If a man comes to you seeking marriage, and you are pleased with his religion and character, then marry him off. If you do not do so, there will be great mischief and corruption in the land.
A believing woman should begin her life by marrying a man known for his religion and ethics, as this will lead to better results in life. Just as it is prohibited for a woman to reject the proposal of a righteous man, men are also encouraged to seek pious women in marriage. A righteous man and a righteous woman will live their lives under the guidance of the Prophet’s ﷺ teachings. When the wife makes a mistake, the husband will correct her, and when the husband falters, the wife will guide him. This is the life of a Muslim man and woman, but unfortunately, religion is not prioritized in marriage nowadays, which leads to widespread corruption on earth. Many marriages fall into fitnah and corruption, leading to the destruction of men’s lives and the suffering of women. Marriages without religious values are the cause of widespread evil, calamities, bloodshed, injustice, corruption, and immoral acts, such as adultery. The percentage of divorces has increased significantly, and many divorced women are forced to endure hardships.
The Accountability of Women in the Hereafter:
The purpose of highlighting these issues here is not to dwell on them but to create awareness among women about their accountability in the Hereafter. Several sayings of the Prophet ﷺ indicate that the majority of the inhabitants of Hell will be women. Let’s first look at a few of the Prophet’s ﷺ sayings, then explore the reasons behind this.
I heard from Hazrat Ibn Abbas (RA) that Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said:
اطلعت في الجنةِ فرأيت أكثرَ أهلِها الفقراءُ . واطلعت في النارِ فرأيت أكثرَ أهلِها النساءُ
(Sahih Muslim: 2737)
Translation: I peered into Paradise and saw that most of its inhabitants were poor, and I peered into Hell and saw that most of its inhabitants were women.
(2)It is narrated from Sayyidina Usama (RA), who reported from the Prophet (ﷺ) that he said:
قُمتُ على بابِ الجنَّةِ، فكان عامَّةَ مَن دَخَلها المساكينُ، وأصحابُ الجَدِّ مَحبوسون، غير أنَّ أصحابَ النَّارِ قد أُمِر بهم إلى النَّارِ، وقُمتُ على بابِ النَّارِ، فإذا عامَّةُ مَن دخَلها النِّساءُ
(Sahih Bukhari: 5196)
Translation: I stood at the gate of Paradise, and most of those who entered were poor people. The wealthy were delayed at the gate, while those destined for Hell were commanded to enter. I stood at the gate of Hell and saw that most of the people entering were women.
The Prophet (ﷺ) said:
إنَّ أقل ساكني الجنةِ النساءُ
(Sahih Muslim: 2738)
Translation: The least among the inhabitants of Paradise will be women.
All of these hadiths are authentic, and they make it clear that women will be in the minority in Paradise and in the majority in Hell. The question then arises: what is the reason why, compared to men, the majority of women will be in Hell? The answer to this question is found in another saying of the Prophet ﷺ.
It is narrated from Hazrat Ibn Abbas (RA), who said that the Prophet (ﷺ) said:
أُريتُ النارَ فإذا أكثرُ أهلِها النساءُ، يَكْفُرن. قيل: أيَكْفُرن باللهِ؟ قال: لا، ولكنهن يكفرن العشيرَ، ويكفرن الإحسانَ، لو أحسنتَ إلى إحداهُن الدهرَ، ثم رأتْ منك شيئًا، قالت: ما رأيتُ منك خيراً قطُّ
(Sahih Bukhari: 29)
Translation: I was shown Hell, and I saw that most of its inhabitants were women. They were ungrateful. People asked, “Do they disbelieve in Allah?” The Prophet ﷺ replied, “No, they are ungrateful to their husbands and ungrateful for kindness. If you treat one of them well for your entire life, then she sees something displeasing in you, she will say, ‘I have never seen any good in you.’”
Abu Sa’id Khudri (RA) narrates that the Prophet (ﷺ) went out towards the Eidgah for the Eid al-Adha or Eid al-Fitr prayer, and as he passed by the women, he said:
يا معشر النساء تصدقن، فإني رأيتكن أكثر أهل النار . فقُلْن: وبم ذلك يا رسولَ اللهِ؟ قال: تكثرن اللعن، وتكفرن العشير
(Sahih Bukhari: 1462)
Translation: O women, give charity, for I have seen that you are the majority of the inhabitants of Hell. They asked, “Why, O Messenger of Allah?” He ﷺ replied, “You frequently curse, and you are ungrateful to your husbands.”
These sayings highlight that the majority of the women in Hell will be there because of their ingratitude toward their husbands and their failure to appreciate the good done to them.
(3) Hazrat Asma bint Yazid narrates that the Prophet (ﷺ) said:
“Beware of the ingratitude of those who provide you with blessings. Perhaps one of you will remain unmarried in her parents’ house for a long time, and then Allah will bless her with a husband and children. However, when she becomes angry over something, she may become ungrateful and say, ‘I have never seen any good from you.'” (Sahih al-Adab al-Mufrad: 800)
Translation: Be cautious about being ungrateful to your husbands. The Prophet (ﷺ) further said that some women may stay unmarried in their parents’ house for a long time. Later, Allah blesses them with a husband and children. However, when they become angry over something, they may express ingratitude, saying, “I have never seen any good from you.”
(4) Abdul Rahman bin Shibl (RA) reported: I heard the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) say:
“Indeed, the wicked ones are the people of the Hellfire.” Someone asked: “O Messenger of Allah! Who are the wicked?” He replied: “Women.” A man asked: “O Messenger of Allah! Are they not our mothers, sisters, and wives?” The Prophet (ﷺ) replied: “Yes, but they are ungrateful when given something, and they lack patience when tested.” (Silsilat al-Sahihah: 3058)
Translation: The wicked ones are the people of Hell. Someone asked: “O Messenger of Allah! Who are the wicked?” He (ﷺ) answered: “Women.” A man asked: “O Messenger of Allah! Are they not our mothers, sisters, and wives?” The Prophet (ﷺ) replied: “Yes, but they are ungrateful when given something and lack patience when tested.”
Key Takeaways from the Above Ahadith:
- Women in Hell: From the authentic narrations in Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim, it is known that there will be a greater number of women in Hell, meaning that fewer women will enter Paradise compared to men. The majority will enter Hell.
- Reasons for Women’s Majority in Hell: The Prophet (ﷺ) explained the reasons for this, which include disobedience to husbands, ingratitude, using foul language, cursing each other, getting angry without reason, engaging in disbelief, not showing gratitude for blessings, and lacking patience during hardships.
- Ingratitude and Its Impact: A severe form of ingratitude in women is expressed when they say harsh words to their husbands during moments of dissatisfaction or irritation, such as telling their husbands that they have never experienced any goodness from them in their lives. This attitude, as mentioned by the Prophet (ﷺ), is illustrated in the words “ما رأيتُ منك خيرًا قطُّ” (I have never seen any good from you).
- Disobedience to Husbands Leading to Hell: One of the major causes of women’s majority in Hell is disobedience to their husbands. This shows that it is prohibited for wives to be disobedient to their husbands, as it includes both ingratitude for the blessings and neglecting their rights.
- Warning for Muslim Women: These teachings serve as a reprimand for Muslim women to correct themselves, avoid these negative qualities, and save themselves from Hell. In other words, obedience to the husband leads to Paradise, while disobedience leads to Hell.
- The High Status of the Husband: The Prophet (ﷺ) stated that if he were to command anyone to prostrate, he would command the wife to prostrate to her husband. This indicates the high status of the husband. It implies that a wife should serve her husband selflessly, care for his comfort, and always strive to make him happy, even enduring hardships patiently without complaining.
Here we also learn that charity is a means of salvation from Hell, and women, in particular, should give charity so that their sins of disbelief, disobedience, and ungratefulness can be forgiven by Allah, and they can accumulate provisions for salvation from Hell.
Tasks for Women:
When we are clearly informed through authentic evidence that ingratitude and disobedience to the husband lead to Hell, Allah will not even look at an ungrateful woman on the Day of Judgment. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
لا ينظرُ اللهُ إلى امرأةٍ لا تشكرُ لزوجِها ، و هيَ لا تستغني عنهُ (السلسلة الصحيحة:289)
Translation: Allah will not look at a woman who does not thank her husband, while she cannot live without him.
In such circumstances, a Muslim woman should be deeply concerned about the Hereafter and work towards avoiding becoming fuel for Hell. Allah’s command is:
إِنَّ الْمُسْلِمِينَ وَالْمُسْلِمَاتِ وَالْمُؤْمِنِينَ وَالْمُؤْمِنَاتِ وَالْقَانِتِينَ وَالْقَانِتَاتِ وَالصَّادِقِينَ وَالصَّادِقَاتِ وَالصَّابِرِينَ وَالصَّابِرَاتِ وَالْخَاشِعِينَ وَالْخَاشِعَاتِ وَالْمُتَصَدِّقِينَ وَالْمُتَصَدِّقَاتِ وَالصَّائِمِينَ وَالصَّائِمَاتِ وَالْحَافِظِينَ فُرُوجَهُمْ وَالْحَافِظَاتِ وَالذَّاكِرِينَ اللَّهَ كَثِيرًا وَالذَّاكِرَاتِ أَعَدَّ اللَّهُ لَهُم مَّغْفِرَةً وَأَجْرًا عَظِيمًا (الاحزاب: 35)
Translation: Surely, Muslim men and Muslim women, believing men and believing women, obedient men and obedient women, truthful men and truthful women, patient men and patient women, humble men and humble women, charitable men and charitable women, fasting men and fasting women, men and women who guard their private parts, and men and women who remember Allah often – for all of them Allah has prepared forgiveness and a great reward.
In this verse, Allah mentions ten qualities of an exemplary woman. I have written a detailed article titled “An Exemplary Woman” on my blog, which can be read for further explanation. Here, I will briefly mention that a woman who is not merely named but is steadfast in faith and deeds, who practices the pillars of Islam and Iman, worships and obeys, speaks the truth, holds patience, fears Allah, fasts, gives charity, protects her modesty, and frequently remembers Allah, will be forgiven by Allah and rewarded with great rewards. If such qualities are embodied, by Allah’s grace, our mothers and sisters will be forgiven and saved from Hell.
Additionally, I emphasize three more points: gratitude, patience, and care for the husband, the absence of which causes disturbance in the family system. The first point is that you should avoid criticizing your husband, being ungrateful, unappreciative, or complaining, and always express gratitude to him. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:
مَنْ لاَّ یَشْکُرِ النَّاسَ لَا یَشْکُرِ اللّٰہَ (صحیح سنن الترمذي: 1952)
Translation: He who does not thank people does not thank Allah.
The second point is patience, which has been mentioned in the verse. I would like to emphasize it here because one of the major causes of women ending up in Hell is impatience. We know that sometimes women are right, yet their husbands oppress them. In such cases, you should be patient like a mountain in the face of your husband’s injustice. His oppression will eventually become trivial, and indeed, patience in the face of your husband’s oppression will be rewarded with Paradise. Hazrat Ka’b bin Ujrah (RA) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:
ألا أخبرُكم بنسائِكم في الجنَّةِ ؟ ! كلُّ ودودٍ ولودٍ ، إذا غضبَتْ أو أُسيءَ إليها [ أو غضب زوجُها ] ؛ قالت : هذه يدي في يدك ؛ لا أَكتحلُ بغَمْضٍ حتى تَرْضى (السلسلة الصحيحة:3380)
Translation: Shall I not inform you about your wives in Paradise? Every affectionate and fertile woman is in Paradise. When she becomes angry, or when she is wronged, or when her husband is angry with her, she says: “My hand is in your hand; I will not sleep until you are pleased.”
The third point is that the best thing in this world is a righteous woman. You should maintain this recognition and never give your husband a reason for complaint. The way to do this is to care for his comfort, make his preferences your preferences, always respect his desires, and seek his approval in all matters. With your love, your husband will forget every sorrow, and in return, he will give such love that will bring peace and fulfillment to your heart and soul. This is the very comfort for which Allah, the Almighty, has ordained marriage. Allah’s command is:
هُوَ الَّذِي خَلَقَكُم مِّن نَّفْسٍ وَاحِدَةٍ وَجَعَلَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا لِيَسْكُنَ إِلَيْهَا (الاعراف: 189)
Translation: He is the One who created you from a single soul and made its mate from it, that you may find peace in her.
Tasks for Men:
The image presented above shows that often wives are disobedient to their husbands, but the other side of the picture is that sometimes the husband’s wrong behavior makes the wife at fault. Blaming her at every turn, using abusive language, causing physical harm, threatening divorce constantly, humiliating her in front of children and others, criticizing her food or other tasks, using harsh and extreme measures for mistakes, treating her with contempt, and seeking shameful ways for correction lead women to disobedience, ingratitude, impatience, selfishness, cruelty, and enmity, causing distress in both husband and wife’s lives. Eventually, the peace of life disappears, and the family system disintegrates, leading to societal disorder. Therefore, husbands must love their wives, value their desires, tolerate their whims, assist and encourage them in their tasks, fulfill their basic needs, and respect their rights. They should not turn to unlawful means to fulfill their desires. Husbands should avoid neglect, oppression, injustice, cruelty, abuse, neglect, separation, and beating in their dealings with their wives. The Prophet (peace be upon him) addressed the men:
فاتقوا اللهَ في النِّساءِ (مسلم :1218)
Translation: O people! Fear Allah in your dealings with women.
In another hadith, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
خيرُكُم خيرُكم لِأهْلِهِ ، وَأَنَا خيرُكم لِأَهْلِي (صحيح الجامع:3314)
Translation: The best of you are the best for their families, and I am the best among you for my family.
I pray to Allah that He protects Muslim women from their husbands’ ingratitude, saves them from the causes that lead to Hell, and grants husbands the ability to treat their wives with justice and fairness. Ameen.
Written by: Maqbool Ahmad Salafi
Islamic Dawah Center, Northern Taif (Masrah)