Is It a Wife’s Duty to Make Her Husband Religious in Islam?

Is It a Wife’s Responsibility to Make Her Husband Pious?

I received a video in which a sister asks an Islamic scholar, “My husband does not pray, and this causes constant conflict in our house. What should I do?” The scholar responds by saying, “You should stay within your limits, and making your husband pray is not your job or duty.” This video has caused confusion among several sisters, raising the question: “Can we not make our non-praying husbands pray? Is it not our responsibility to make them pious?”

Answer:
This video contains several beneficial points, but it also includes many statements that are wrong from an Islamic perspective. The scholar states that it is not the wife’s job to make her husband pray or become pious. He further adds that whatever a woman’s fate brings, she should accept it and forgive her husband, even if he shows indifference and lack of interest in righteousness. These views are absolutely incorrect according to Shari’ah.

The foundation of marriage is compatibility (kufu) between a man and a woman, meaning they should be compatible in religious matters. This is why the Prophet ﷺ instructed that a righteous woman should marry a righteous man, and the same applies to women: they should marry a righteous man. If, by chance, a woman marries a man who is not religious, does not pray, or has bad character, it is her responsibility to bring him toward religion, save him from his lack of faith, teach him how to pray, and stop him from immoral behavior. This is part of the wife’s responsibility. When the husband corrects his faith and character, that’s fine; otherwise, the wife has the right to seek separation. Yes, it is a separate matter that the wife should approach her husband’s reformation with kindness and wisdom. However, it is absolutely wrong for any scholar to say that it is not the wife’s responsibility to make her husband religious and pious. A believer wife can endure many wrongs from her husband, but she can never tolerate his irreligiosity, immorality, and disobedience to Allah.

The following hadiths emphasize this point.

1. Narrated by Abu Huraira (RA), reported in Abu Dawood, Nasa’i, Ibn Majah, and Musnad Ahmad:

رحم الله رجلا قام من الليل فصلى وايقظ امراته، فإن ابت نضح في وجهها الماء، رحم الله امراة قامت من الليل فصلت وايقظت زوجها، فإن ابى نضحت في وجهه الماء
(Sahih Abu Dawood: 1308)

Translation: “May Allah have mercy on a man who gets up at night to pray and wakes up his wife. If she refuses, he should sprinkle water on her face. May Allah have mercy on a woman who gets up at night to pray and wakes up her husband. If he refuses, she should sprinkle water on his face.”

This hadith shows that if the wife gets up at night for voluntary prayers (Qiyam al-Lail), she should wake up her husband. If he refuses, she should sprinkle water on his face. This shows that even for non-obligatory prayers, the wife has the right to encourage her husband to wake up and perform worship. How then can a wife tolerate a husband who does not even perform obligatory prayers? Such a husband is committing a major sin, and some scholars have declared disbelief (kufr) on those who neglect obligatory prayers. So, how can a pious wife tolerate a non-praying husband?

2. Narrated by Thawban (RA), reported in Ibn Majah:

فَقَالَ: يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ، أَيَّ الْمَالِ نَتَّخِذُ؟، فَقَالَ: لِيَتَّخِذْ أَحَدُكُمْ قَلْبًا شَاكِرًا، وَلِسَانًا ذَاكِرًا، وَزَوْجَةً مُؤْمِنَةً تُعِينُ أَحَدَكُمْ عَلَى أَمْرِ الْآخِرَةِ
(Sahih Ibn Majah: 1517)

Translation: Some of your companions said: “O Messenger of Allah, what wealth should we seek?” The Prophet ﷺ replied: “Let each of you seek a grateful heart, a remembering tongue, and a believing wife who will help him in his affairs of the Hereafter.”

In this hadith, the Prophet ﷺ emphasizes the importance of a wife who assists her husband in his religious matters. She should help him strengthen his faith and help him in matters of the Hereafter.

3. In another narration from Sahih Tirmidhi:

أَفْضَلُهُ لِسَانٌ ذَاكِرٌ، وَقَلْبٌ شَاكِرٌ، وَزَوْجَةٌ مُؤْمِنَةٌ تُعِينُهُ عَلَى إِيمَانِهِ
(Sahih Tirmidhi: 3094)

Translation: “The best wealth is a tongue that remembers Allah, a heart that is grateful, and a believing wife who helps him in his faith.”

Here, the hadith underscores that a righteous wife is one who supports her husband’s faith and helps him become stronger in his belief.

4. Regarding the issue of a husband’s faith and character, the following story from Sahih Bukhari is relevant:

جَاءَتْ امْرَأَةُ ثَابِتِ بْنِ قَيْسِ بْنِ شَمَّاسٍ إِلَى النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، فَقَالَتْ: يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ، مَا أَنْقِمُ عَلَى ثَابِتٍ فِي دِينٍ وَلَا خُلُقٍ إِلَّا أَنِّي أَخَافُ الْكُفْرَ، فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: فَتَرُدِّينَ عَلَيْهِ حَدِيقَتَهُ؟ فَقَالَتْ: نَعَمْ، فَرَدَّتْ عَلَيْهِ، وَأَمَرَهُ فَفَارَقَهَا
(Sahih Bukhari: 5276)

Translation: The wife of Thabit ibn Qais (RA) came to the Prophet ﷺ and said: “O Messenger of Allah, I have no complaint against Thabit in terms of his religion or character, but I fear falling into disbelief (kufr).” The Prophet ﷺ asked her, “Would you return the garden (that he gave you as dowry)?” She replied, “Yes.” The Prophet ﷺ then commanded Thabit to divorce her.

This incident clearly shows that if a husband’s faith or character is lacking, it is the wife’s responsibility to correct him. If she cannot, she has the right to seek divorce.

Summary of All These Points
In matters of religion, just as a husband is responsible for his wife, a wife is also responsible for her husband’s religious well-being. Whoever neglects their duties will be held accountable by Allah in the Hereafter.

And Allah knows best.