Managing a High Sex Drive: Islamic Advice and Practical Strategies
LUST
Question from a 19 year old male: Ever since I was young and at the beginning of puberty I have had a very high sex drive, and as years go by and I am now 19, it has intensified. It has come to the point that it extremely harms my productivity and mood, I get the urge even tho I’m at the gym, at school, with friends, and can even happen at the masjid astaghfiruallah. I have tried quitting for many years but it’s getting harder and harder. I have tried fasting but even during the fast I get the urges. What should I do in this situation? Should I relieve myself so I don’t get into bigger haram, or should I power through it? Also to mention that if I don’t do anything, the urge only intensifies by time.
JazakAllahu khairan.
Answered by Abu Rayhanah AbdulHakeem Al-Amreeki ḥafidhahullāh:
May Allah aid you in your affairs and protect you from all that which is harmful.
Having an urge for sex is not blameworthy, instead it is a natural urge for both men and women. Sexual urges can be reduced in several ways, however it can only be fulfilled by marriage.
From the beginning of Islam puberty has been the time in which men and women become married. Thus, you must know that a sex drive is not merely a desire to ejaculate, however it is a natural desire for marriage and everything it entails for camaraderie, companionship, and mutual love and commitment, which is the foundation of establishing a family.
Many attempt to fulfill their sex drive by merely ejaculating sperm, which never brings them satisfaction. Instead, it often makes the desires insatiable and makes them sexually frustrated. Thus, sexual intercourse becomes somewhat related to anxieties, anger and voilence and often leads to sexual assault. May Allah protect us.
You must avoid all things that arose from your desires. Your desires are aroused by your five senses. Avoid looking at the opposite gender, and stay away from social media as much as you can. Videos, music and all pictures. Preserve and protect the innocence of your mind and psyche from sexual perversion. Take the necessary measures to get married. Honor and respect yourself and never dwell upon committing unlawful acts.
Your sex drive must be accompanied with integrity, honor and limitations. Standards that you refuse to even contemplate let alone commit. Avoid masturbation and pornography. They have severe ill effects on the brain. Many young men with strong desires find themselves unaroused with their new wife, and unable to perform because their brain only arose when looking at others. May Allah protect the innocence of our minds